BWild Deluxe Bunny Vibrator Review – Thanks BSwish!

This toy was provided to me by in exchange for a review. Thanks, guys!

TL;DR Sex Toy Video Review

Okay. Bunny vibrators. We’re all pretty well versed in them by now, yes? In the event you’ve been masturbating under a rock for the last…oh…fifteen years or so, these dirty lil devils are all the rage for gals that dig simultaneous penetration and external stimulation.


The BWild Deluxe Bunny vibrator in blue appears laying on its included black drawstring bag beside its box, which features a smiling blond woman in black panties on the front.

The BWild Deluxe Bunny Vibrator from BSwish in all its blue glory.

There’s just one problem. Those of us that are – shall we say “vaginal canal length-challenged” wince a little when we look at some bunny vibes on the market, which look more like pastel-colored space shuttles still dragging pearl-clogged booster rockets in their wake. Huuuuuge. Not to mention way (WAY) too many of them are still made out of jelly, and friends don’t let friends put jelly anywhere near their intimate areas unless there’s a seriously kinky breakfast-themed BDSM scene going down. Even then – sugar – no no no. I digress.

Sizing Up the Bunny

This toy is a wonderful size. It’s not so small you’re wondering how the hell you’re going to hold it comfortably, and it’s not so big that you’ll feel like a particularly insistent semi truck is taking Route 66 straight to your cervix. If Goldilocks went NC-17, this is the vibrator she’d choose: it’s just right.

The BWild Deluxe Bunny Vibrator, held on an angle in a female hand. The edge of the vibrator box shows to the left, and beneath the vibrator, the included black drawstring bag is shown.

This bunny loves me. ❤

Click, Click VROOM

I love that it’s waterproof, because it’s really waterproof. Not bullshit-tiny-rubber-ring-sandwiched-in-the-seam waterproof, this baby twists and locks the battery casing in with a very satisfying, tangible bump.

A closeup of the blue BWild Deluxe Bunny Vibrator with the bottom cap removed. A female hand holds the main stem of the vibrator, which is turned to show the channel the cap locks into in order to make the toy waterproof.

I Love Lights!

The two-button control panel is not only at a very comfortable angle for easy tapping, it also lights up red so you can see what the hell you’re doing. It’s a nice touch, especially for couples that prefer to play in the dark. The top button cycles through 6 settings: low, medium, high, escalating, slow pulse and fast pulse.

Final Verdict: Worth It

This isn’t a gimmicky toy. It’s a sex toy that I will actually use, enjoy and play with along with my partner. This will come in the shower with me, and it will live in my cat-proof bedside box when its dry. When you’ve seen as many toys as I have in my career/blogging life/weird event circuit, you become really fussy about which ones you’d encourage a new toy explorer to buy. I genuinely feel this one is worth the money, is durable enough to work hard for many years, and isn’t too intimidating in size or power – yet still packs a punch. That’s a rare combination of qualities, and frankly, one I was pleasantly surprised to find here.

If you’d like to take this medium sized bunny vibrator for a spin yourself – and I definitely suggest you do – it’s available in blue, pink or purple for $53.99 from my friends over at BSwish!



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Mighty Wand Vibrator Review – Thanks!

This toy was provided to me by in exchange for a review. Thanks, guys! 🙂

TL;DR Sex Toy Video Review

The first thing you’ll notice about the Mighty Wand vibrator is the controls – or, at least, it’s the first thing I noticed. After a decade-plus researching, writing and moving through “the industry,” I didn’t realize how used to the old school Nokia phone-like keypad I was, with four directional arrows and maybe a button or two, if the manufacturer was feeling fancy. This was typically mounted on the front of the toy, or maybe the bottom – both fairly inconvenient for adjustment when you’re a bigger girl that struggles with flexibility.

Smart Control Placement

A picture of a purple mighty wand vibrator laying on a beige cloth background.

The Mighty Wand control dial, like these traditional control pads, is also on the “front” of the wand body, but it’s placed a little higher up on the stem, making it much easier to reach. When the head of the wand is facing down, as it would be if you were using the wand for clitoral stimulation while lying on your back, it only takes very gentle fingertip pressure to roll the vibration adjustment wheel up towards your head to intensify vibrations. I can easily hold the wand in one hand and move the control wheel up, down, or off with just the pad of my middle finger.

The Ideal Weight

A closeup of a woman's hand grasping the body of the purple mighty wand vibrator, with her thumb on the wheel control, shown angled to the right side.

I won’t mince words – I’m not athletic. I’m overweight (and I’m totally cool with that!) but I have to be real about the fact that my lack of exercise affects stuff like arm strength. I have several variations on “the” go-to vibrator wand, but honestly the body of most of those wands ends up really heavy if I’m using it for more than a few minutes – which I do because I’m worth it, damnit! The head tends to be the lightest part of those types of toys, which means that extra force is needed to keep the tip leaning down where I want it to press against me. The Mighty Wand is not only shorter in body length, the tip is blessedly where the weight is concentrated, making it naturally tip down. It sounds like a really simple thing, but when you’ve struggled with annoyances that distract from an already elusive climax, every little bit helps.

Unusual Pulse Control

A woman's hand holding the body of the purple mighty wand vibrator. Her thumb is raised just above a shiny oval purple button on the left side of the body, about to press it.

Again, to draw comparisons between this toy and others, pulsation is usually a ‘setting’ – as in, you have to manually set it off and on for a duration. This often leads to blind fumbling with the aforementioned inconvenient controls if you’re close and decide to switch back. The Mighty Wand incorporates a sort of “dead man’s switch” into the mix, which is unusual and also really cool. When the vibration is turned on, there’s a small button right where the thumb rests when holding the “stem” in your right hand – sorry lefties! To enjoy pulsation, you simply hold this button in as long as you’d like, and release it when you’d like to go back to straight vibes. The movement is natural, as you’re already gripping the handle and directing the head where you want it to go. The single speed pulsation is essentially putting a club beat on the vibration intensity you’ve already chosen via the adjustment wheel.

No Batteries!

A woman's hand holding the body of the purple mighty wand vibrator. Her thumb is pulling back a small white rubber flap to reveal the charging port and two unlit LED indicators below it. She holds the wire and charging plug beside the body, grasped between her middle and index fingers to show the plug beside the port.

Technology being what it is, I’m honestly surprised that new battery-powered vibrators are still being made. We plug in our cell phones, our laptops – even our cars, in some cases – so why are we still burning through expensive (and often non-rechargeable) batteries to get our freak on? I can see for the smaller vibrators, maybe, but when you get into the level of wands, I prefer something I can plug in to charge. The Mighty Wand has a tiny little flap on the side that conceals the port for the included charger, flanked by thoughtful LEDs that let you know how the charging is going and when you’re topped up. It may not be the fancy magnetic-style chargers seen elsewhere, but I prefer a lower price point over a higher-tech charger, frankly. Everything plugs in the same, and it’s still infinitely more convenient than digging around in my junk drawer in a frantic search for AAA batteries every time I want to get down and dirty.

The Head

A close up of the ridged head of the purple mighty wand vibrator. An accordion-like stem neck is visible below the purple mushroom-like cap.

This is one of my few critiques of the toy. I don’t know what “Ultra Soft Touch” material is, but it looks and feels like rubber – it doesn’t have that “shower curtain scent” that I’ve been trained to recognize as phthalates, but the box also doesn’t explicitly call out that it’s phthalate free. The cap overlay to the head is definitely permanently affixed, and it ends in a short, mushroom-like overlap, under which the recessed screws of the head can be seen. This vibrator is not waterproof, so this isn’t as problematic as it could be, but with the unusual design I could see some biologicals getting caught there without thorough cleaning after every use. Thankfully, the design also lends itself to quick and easy condom use, which is my preferred method for dealing with toy cleaning – just slide one on, use the toy, and toss the condom. While the head sports a diameter that’s a wee bit larger than a half dollar and technically could be inserted, I’d do so with care if that’s your plan. The mushroom-like cap overlay and the flexible neck below could cause some problems and might be uncomfortable, and the adjustment wheel is inset into an open track which moisture could enter.

Final Thoughts

Some angel of a sex blogger taught me years ago that wand-type vibes can also be used to clear one’s head – literally. Some well-placed heavy vibrations on the bridge or side of the nose will help with sinus pressure and pain, which I’m prone to. While it might not be necessarily sexy, this Mighty Wand also keeps my sinus and ocular migraines at bay – in addition to working magic a little lower on the body. It’s been in heavy rotation from my nightstand drawer since I got it for just that reason – it’s versatile, strong without being a jackhammer, it’s light enough to wield comfortably, it doesn’t need batteries, and getting the right setting is intuitive, rather than feeling like I’m programming a missile launch. I’d recommend that anyone curious about a wand-type toy give this one a spin, as it’s extremely fun and user friendly!


Sex Toy Review: Erotic Love Slime Bath from Sweet Evil Industries

I enjoy making messes in enclosed and/or easily cleaned spaces. Massage oil on a tarp? I’m on it. Water balloons outside? Yep. Combine it with sexy time and a relative reassurance that none of the messy medium’s going to end up inside my lady parts and I’m pretty damn happy. When Sweet Evil Industries tossed me an email about reviewing their Erotic Love Slime Bath, I was all over it. After a brief tete-a-tete regarding the scent – I’m okay-ish with coconut, but the husband gets headaches, so we went with juniper instead – and a few days later, I had an exciting little box to look forward to.

Having done the trade show  bit, I appreciate quick takeaway versions of products like these, so I was happy to receive not only a traditional full-size box of love slime but a dual-sided glossy paper with samples of both the Love Slime and Love Gel stapled to it. (I’m saving that for a video review in the future!)

The Love Slime Kit LoveEvil sent to me!

The Love Slime Kit Love Evil sent to me!

The night came where I had the time and inclination to give the product a whirl, so I ran my bath about half full of warm water and snagged the box. It contained a single plastic pack of the love slime powder as well as a sheet of instructions – essentially, fill the bath halfway, watch out because it’s holyfuck levels of slippery and don’t, like, eat it. Okay. I think I’m up to the task here.


The contents of the Love Slime box.

I snipped off a corner of the dayglo green powder packet, pouring it in slowly and evenly around the water.


Here we go!

At first, I wasn’t very impressed because it all seemed to sink to the bottom of the tub and just kinda…stay there. I could put my hand in the water and chase the thin layer around the floor of the tub, but the water itself wasn’t changing at all that I could see. If I “picked up” some of the bottom layer by scooping it in my hand, I could feel the viscosity. That felt cool, so I kept doing it – and that mixed up the Love Slime enough to “evolve” it into a whole tub sort of thing.

The Love Slime forming.

The Love Slime forming.


Love Slime in action!

Once I got in the tub and moved around a little, the viscosity increased to the point where even the “normal” water that wasn’t on the base of the tub was getting in on the party. It started becoming obvious when I picked my hand up out of the water, which oozed off of it. The water got thicker and thicker until it was roughly the consistency of Light Karo Syrup, and being in the middle of it was pretty damn cool. I was “slimed” all over, and it held the heat of the bath and made my skin feel pretty good to boot. Hey – I liked this stuff!

Then, after I cautiously let the goopy water drain with a silent prayer to the gods of outdated plumbing, it was time to get out. My husband looked on, bemused, and told me that I had to live in the tub now because he wasn’t helping me out – did I mention he’s a sadist? If you’ve ever spilled silicone lubricant on a non-porous surface, you have the beginnings of understanding what I was dealing with. I was in a lubed tub with no handholds, and getting my feet under me was not a secure possibility. I eventually had my husband hand me the showerhead and, turning it on to the masturbation stream setting, I was able to sort of blast the slimy residue away. Mostly. Enough to stand up.

It is water soluble, definitely, but the problem is that the greenish color isn’t really visible once the bulk is drained off, leaving you with invisible patches of “holy shit” that will land you in the ER with an interesting story if you aren’t careful. This persists, drying and surprising you when it gets wet during subsequent showers, so wash the hell out of your tub or leave the shower going a bit when you’re done. It rinses off of *you* just fine, and quickly, but you’ll have to pay a little more attention to your tub and warn any other tub-users to be careful for the next few showers.

I’d recommend Love Slime. My husband and I thoroughly enjoyed our experience with it and he’s already asking me to do it again, so I’d call that a success. The scent was light and non-fakey, the slime did precisely what it said it would, and the extra time with warm water was awful nice. Plus, it’s FUN. Think of the possibilities – Ghostbusters slashfic, Ninja Turtles cosplay (just add sexy lingerie kneepads!) and garden variety sploshing!

Love Slime is available in Coconut, Vanilla or Juniper scents and can be purchased for $19.99 on the Sweet Evil Industries website.


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Weird Sex Toys O The Week REVIEW: Absolute Naughty Sex Kneepads

It should come as no surprise to those that know me to admit I have a genuine passion for the “unusual” in the adult arena. My foot vagina, despite being laden with phthalates and scaring the bejeesus out of me when I forget I left it in a drawer, remains one of my prized possessions. To that end, when the gent behind asked me if I was interested in reviewing sex kneepads, there wasn’t a moment of hesitation – I volunteered as joint-padded tribute before I was done reading the email.

Absolute Naughty Sex Kneepads

My package of passionate padding.

Okay, well, it looked harmless enough. My first impression was that the sex kneepads seemed very large, but I had virtually no experience with kneepads before in my life – of sex, construction or even sport variety – so I figured this was likely the norm. I trudged off to the bathtub to shave my legs because…well, yeah. I mean, I was going to photograph them and I didn’t want pictorial evidence of how lazy I am with periodic leg shaving. Usually my knees are just an obstacle course that I give half a mind to when I’m shaving. It’s just a nick collector, but this time I was forced to pay attention because that area would potentially be front and center. I noticed a few things:

1.) Knees are weird. They’re like lumpy potatoes.

2.) I now totally understood not only the intrinsic comfort of padding these suckers, but also maybe having the option to conceal them.

3.) I feel like I have big knees. Is that weird? They look like overgrown elbows.

4.) This – this is never going to be an erogenous zone for me.

I patted myself dry and wandered back over to the bed, where I proceeded to examine my new coital knee accessories, which I’d affectionately been dubbing “lingerie kneepads” to my friends on twitter. They arrive in an interesting and surprisingly sturdy (for a free sex toy bag, anyway) mesh drawstring pouch, adorned with an Absolute Naughty label.

Absolute Naughty Sex Kneepads

Front Side of the Kneepads – I got pink lacing, but there is also red lacing and plain black with studs available.

The front is a sort of triple-pieced black pleather type material, laced up like a corset with thick hot pink elastic cord. The back is just plain foam padding/backing. I was concerned that it was just going to tie around the top of the knee and kind of hang there like a tunic, but once I untied the cords I realized that there is a set of ties at both the top and bottom. This bodes well for actually staying on the knee.

Absolute Naughty Sex Kneepads

The top one’s flipped over to show the underside, here.

Again, I was struck by the size of them. I measured them, and my tape showed that they’re approximately 6″ wide to a side. I’m approximately a size 20-22, so my knees weren’t totally out of proportion, but it makes me wonder what they’d look like on a gal that was built a little less broad than I. The stitching was, much like the bag, surprisingly sturdy for an item that a lot of people would probably classify as a novelty.

Absolute Naughty Sex Kneepads

The measurement. Ignore my weird measuring tape, the correct inches are at the top line.

The moment of truth? I tied them on, expecting that the elastic tie cords would cut off my circulation immediately, as the cords were just long enough to make a small bow. Much to my surprise, they didn’t. I don’t know if it’s because Absolute Naughty opted for a flat “satin” type elastic cord rather than a round one, but I was glad to be incorrect about this. They were present in my mind, but not in an annoying or unpleasant way. I took a moment to admire them, now that I was “suited up.”

Absolute Naughty Sex Kneepads

Tah dah!

And then….I stood up. My husband, on the phone with a friend of his, wandered into the bedroom and had to cover the mouthpiece to muffle a bark of laughter. Mind you, I was nude except for the lingerie kneepads, so I’m sure it was a sight to behold. I awkwardly walked over to him, looked down at my knees, and back up to his face before I confessed that I felt like a sexy ninja turtle. Because of their size and the way they tie on, one needs to walk carefully to prevent the top set of tie straps from rolling down the leg, and they end up feeling a little like leg armor as opposed to a sensual accessory while you’re on the move.

That being said, if you plan on posing on the bed or standing alongside it just prior to getting down (pun intended), I could see these being worked into a routine. They do offer the padding they advertise, and the thoughtful use of pleather and flat lacing over metal eyeholes and round lacing mean that you’re not dumping your body weight on painfully bruising hardware. Was I kneeling on a feather pillow? No. But if you’re going knees-to-the-floor, these babies could keep you in the game a little longer.

If you want a gag gift that isn’t festooned with cartoon penises but still gives a nudge-nudge wink-wink, these would be a cute, unusual and potentially very useful present. The pair I received is available with red, black or pink lacing, and a male version with a flat-studded strap is available as well.

All four varieties of sex kneepads can be purchased via for  $30 – $32.00 USD.


New Video Review! Purple Power Pump by Pipedream Products

I was going to do another vibrator review, but being that I have no AAAs currently in the house, I was abruptly halted. Instead, I decided to give a tip of my hat to the fellas with a penis pump review! If you’ve ever been curious about pumps and wanted to see one up close, this is your chance. I demonstrate how a drilled cylinder model works, and give measurements on the Purple Power Pump with my handy dressmaker’s tape.

The Purple Power Penis Pump is $18.95 at the Pipedream Products Company Store. Whoo!

If they’re out of stock, snag this white and black penis pump – identical but for the color,  for $14.95.

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Project Sugarlips: Sweet Release for Him & Her!

Project Sugarlips at


The nice folks at Sweet Release were kind enough to send two bottles my way – Sweet Release for Him and Sweet Release for Her – for my ongoing Sugarlips project. Life has been ridiculously uncooperative for putting these babies into action (finding time to give my husband a BJ shouldn’t be so hard!) but we finally managed to coincide taking them for a long enough period and getting down and dirty to give them a solid trial run.

Some of my main impressions about the pills themselves:

1.) They look unusual, but interesting. Most “enhancement” pills I’ve come across in my time have been solid chunks of something vaguely pastel. These are capsules, clear capsules, that let you see the ingredient mixture inside. Here’s a picture of them in my hand:

Sweet Release Oral Sex Enhancers







2.) When they say take with food or drink, they mean it. This isn’t to say there’s any tummy troubles with the ingredients, but the gelatin used for the capsules melts and gets sticky in the throat, making them uncomfortable to take dry. Lube (har!) your throat with a favorite snack or beverage before you take them or you’ll get that tortilla-chip-sideways swallowing thing going on.

3.) The men’s and women’s versions of Sweet Release look the same, though they do have slightly different ingredients – men’s has apple, for instance, while the women’s has citrus extracts. Both smell pleasantly fruity, and didn’t offend my relatively sensitive nose at all. There’s no aftertaste to speak of either, which is a big plus for me.

So, in practice?

I noticed the effect the most on my husband’s end of things. If you’re expecting your lover to start ejaculating karo syrup, it ain’t gonna happen, but there’s no product out there that can do that. What Sweet Release does, and does pretty effectively, is neutralize the ammonia undertones commonly “tasted” in sexual bodily fluids. He tasted more pleasant – I won’t say sweet, because I feel sweet is a very solid term reserved for things like southern tea and pixi sticks, but definitely different in a positive way. Prior to ejaculation, I didn’t notice any real change, so this project doesn’t make people smell sweeter in my opinion. If you’re having trouble swallowing or getting your partner to swallow, Sweet Release would be a great step in the right direction.

Sweet Release for Her was a bit more difficult to quantify through use. I tend to produce a lot of moisture naturally, so I feel the effect is a lot more diluted for me than it was for him. He’s an oral sex hound to begin with, too, so getting feedback from him was more a series of mouth-full affirmations than it was a studied chat. I got the distinct impression that he noticed the difference, but it wasn’t enough to make him question what I’d changed – so a pleasant little add-on, but nothing earth shattering. Then again, if enthusiasm is any tip-off, he went at it like a man half-starved – thanks, Sweet Release!

Overall, this product is worth a go if you’re looking to improve the taste of ejaculation for him or her. The price is pretty fair, the customer service is great, and the pills look really well put-together.

Sweet Release can be purchased for $14.95 (both his and her versions) at It’s the best oral sex enhancer I’ve tried so far 🙂

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The SugarlipsProject: Sweet Release is on Board!

The Sugarlips Project at


I’m pleased to say that Sweet Release is the first company to step forward and be a part of the Sugarlips Project. They were kind enough to send me a bottle of both the male and female pills, so it looks like ToySir is going to have to slip on a scientist’s coat as well for this juncture. We’ll need to take these pills for several days and…well…let’s just say nature hasn’t been cooperating on my end, so we’ll both start as soon as nature has abated.

Sweet Release Oral Sex Enhancer

Sweet Release Soft Citrus is the feminine version – users need to take one pill twice a day, and it’s recommended to take it with meals. The Sweet Release ingredients consist of a proprietary blend called crancitrin (I imagine it’s cranberry and citrus of some sort), cranberry powder, grapefruit powder, lemon fruit powder and gelatin for the capsule.

Sweet Release Hard Apple is, unsurprisingly, for men. Once again, the dosage is one pill twice a day with meals. The Sweet Release ingredients in this blend include another proprietary fruit solid mixture, cranberry powder, mango powder, blueberry powder, dark sweet cherry and gelatin for the capsule.

Each jar contains 60 pills – a month’s supply. ToySir and I are going to give it a go for about 4 days, and make sure the “pipes are clear” beforehand, so to speak. Men make sperm ahead of time, so we want to encourage the body to make a new batch while he’s got the extracts in his system for maximum effect. 🙂



Review: The Verona Silicone Dildo by

Metallics are something of a rarity in the world of silicone dildos (with perhaps the exception of E&I, which I’m not sure is still around), as are mixed colors within the same dildo. For the most part, silicone dildos seem to be made by filling up the molds with a single color – though higher-end brands will usually have a handful of color options and maybe a special edition or two over the life of a toy’s cycle. One of the first things that struck me about Babes-N-Horny was their unprecedented selection of colors – the only place I’d seen customization like that was at a toy maker that worked only in TPR, not silicone. My Verona is lustre grey steel, but there were 38 other things it could be, including “urban camo”, “marble chocolate and white” and a full range of neons and flesh tones.

Verona Silicone Dildo by


The Verona dildo is part of a BNH collection made to pay homage to venetian architecture, and it in fact looks (to me, anyway) like the mid-piece of a three tiered fountain. I like my dildos to look pretty when not in use, and Verona’s definitely a simplistic show-stopper. As I mentioned in the Isi dildo review, the silicone is a bit softer than I imagined, but this particular dildo is firmer than the Isi – it lacks the extreme “squishiness” of its striped cousin.

Verona Silicone Dildo by

Still comfortably flexible, the rounded base on this toy will work in some O ring harnesses, and it makes anal play safe as well. The surface is smooth, which really shows off the metallic hue in mine, and the end is small and rounded for easy insertion. I like bumpy dildos like this because they work great no matter where you’d like to put them, the shape and style are unisex, and anyone that doesn’t know I’m a raving cheerleader of non-porous, boilable toys is clearly new here!

The bottom of the toy is flat, so it will stand up on its own if you prefer to lower yourself onto it, and the “drizzle” pattern the molding process leaves behind is unique.

Verona Silicone Dildo from


Measuring 5.25″ overall, the Verona has a 4.5″ insertable length, and the girth on this toy comes in at a .75″ diameter on the largest “bulb” at the bottom. The Verona is a lovely silicone sex toy that brings architecturally-inspired eroticism to your bedroom. It’s suitable for harness play, anal play or just about anything else you can dream up – 39 colors to choose from makes this fun medium-size dildo easy to customize for your pleasure.

The Verona Dildo can be purchased via for  £19.95 (Roughly $32.00 USD)

Curious about other Babes-N-Horny toys? I have two other reviews forthcoming for the line, so stay tuned!

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Project Sugarlips: Baseline

Project Sugarlips at

(FYI, if you know me as a family member or a non-BDSMy friend, don’t read the Sugarlips series, please. It’s very explicit and I don’t need to have certain people knowing what happens when I’m doing things to my husband with my face. Thanks!)

I don’t remember what erotic book I read it in, but there’s a passage in which a female protagonist compares the taste of semen to a mixture of “eggwhites and seawater” – a description that has always stuck with me. Numerous biological clues have hinted my husband is very well suited to me as a partner – the lack of lube not the least of them – and the fact that his semen has no ammonia taste (the “eggwhite” side of things) to me might be another. I consider that ammonia-taste unpleasantly similar to cleaning products, personally, though there may be other gals or guys that dig it.

I concentrated during my last oral session, tasting him beyond the swallow/kiss/cuddle usual end of things. Much like wine, guy-stuff takes on different levels of complexity when it’s held in the mouth while breathing through the nose. (I know, some of you non-swallowers are squicked out here, but just bear in mind this is all in the name of science to help YOU.) My husband is, to my palate, delightfully neutral, though a tinge of that ammonia-undertone sneaks in after a few moments. That being said, I’m going to use that end-hint as my baseline – a good “sweetener” should wipe that out or delay/mute the taste by changing the PH balance of the ejaculate itself.

My husband quit smoking about a year ago, so we don’t have that to contend with, and he doesn’t drink coffee either, so we dodge that. Both of these contributors can make semen bitter or acrid-tasting, and general advice for partners who want their man to taste better almost always mention that these should be reduced or eliminated.

So. That being said:

  • Sweetness (1-10) – 2
  • “Ammonia” (1-10) – 2, at the 1 min mark.
  • Viscosity (1-10) -4

I will note our observations with the experimental supplements (increase in volume/intensity, etc) on a case-by-case basis. Next installment will be pineapple, more than likely – after that, it looks like our first sponsor will be Sweet Release, though I’m waiting to hear the final details from their camp.

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Review: Kinklab Vampire Gloves from

I am not a newbie to vampire gloves by a longshot. I fell in love with these unique BDSM tools many a year ago, when they called out to me from a shop counter in Greenwich Village, NYC. I was just a starry-eyed Rocky Horror enthusiast youngster then, not even old enough to buy myself a shot, but nonetheless I fell in love with them immediately. One might even say that vampire gloves were the catalyst that led to my current lifestyle. (Thought I was going to make a hand pun there, didn’t you? This is a classy joint, n’est pas? PENIS!)

Kinklab Vampire Gloves from

That’s why it comes of little surprise that when I teamed up with the fine folks at to do a review, these babies were what captured my attention. Leather AND ouchy things? OhYesPlz.

If you’re unfamiliar with vampire gloves, the concept is fairly simple – and ingenious. If you’ve ever seen a metal stud prior to it meeting the leather or cloth it’s destined to adorn, you may have noticed there are four sharp prongs on the underside, like tiny table legs. These prongs go through the fabric of choice and are bent underneath the stud with a tap from a hammer, a beadazzler on steroids or other connection method. This secures the stud in four places, anchoring it to the fabric and tucking the prongs away. In vampire gloves, however, the opposite is true – the flat stud is attached upside-down, allowing the prongs to poke out on the “user/wearer” side of the fabric – leather, in this case.  Then the inside of the glove is covered with another layer of leather to keep the flat stud heads in place and voila – you have a palm full of pointy, prickly prongs with which to torment and tease a partner.

Kinklab Vampire Gloves from

Vampire gloves are one of those nice BDSM tools that adapt to the skill level and preferences of those using them. For wusspuppies like moi, they can be used to gently scratch down arms, breasts, legs and backs to set the tone for an amazing sensation play scene with your favorite top/Dom or bottom/sub. They make an absolutely delightful counterpoint to feathers, silk or massage tools and immediately wake up sensitive nerves for fun. For those that users that are both experienced and really dig pain, the gloves can be used to grip harder and even draw blood* with enough pressure or percussive force. They LOOK wicked as hell and just a glance may be enough to get a bratty sub to bite her tongue!

*If you’re using these gloves to draw blood or getting other fluids on them, just be sure not to share fluid-bonded toys among partners, as leather can’t be sterilized.

Kinklab Vampire Gloves from

Kinklab’s Vampire Gloves are some of the most popular out there right now, as few “mainstream” makers have these gloves in their lines. I will say that they appear to be different than the “same” Kinklab vamp gloves I picked up about four or five years back, when the line was brand new. The snaps are not sewn in as well as they used to be, and the leather feels a little thinner – they still get the job done and can hold up to play, don’t get me wrong, but I wouldn’t be too rough on the snaps. carries these kinklab vampire gloves in several different sizes, so ideally you’d select a size that doesn’t need the snaps to hold it on securely. All in all, these are a very unique and welcome addition to the toybag of any BDSMer or vanilla nightstand alike. Just remember that your hands are full of spikes and don’t try and catch anything squishy if it’s falling off the bed. Trust me. 🙂

Kinklab Vampire Gloves from

Kinklab Vampire Gloves can be purchased in sizes ranging from XS to XL at for $37.49. 

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