50 Shades of Class Action Lawsuit

It’s no secret among my friends that I have more than a little disdain for this “50 Shades of Grey” crap. The writing, much like Twilight, is atrocious from a writer’s standpoint and the broken message is one that’s going to cause the BDSM community headaches for years to come. While the ol’ rope bag is on hiatus for the time being, I’m still very much involved in the social aspect of a (surprisingly robust for a southern state) kink scene and I was just discussing the implications of the dreaded movie with my friend. We’re bracing ourselves for an influx of swaggering asshole Doms and naive subs for them to prey on to come flooding into our chatrooms, social networks and meetups. So while I’m grateful to the story for making “us” a little more mainstream, I’m cringing at the prospect of the social aftermath.

Fun fact: the American spelling of Gray and the UK spelling of Grey can be differentiated by their vowels – E for England and A for America. You’re welcome!

Apparently, a California resident who slathered on some of the 50 Shades of Grey Pleasure Gel is also unhappy with a different kind of aftermath – or rather, a lack thereof. The Wrap recently reported the woman’s dissatisfaction was making it’s way to a courtroom in the form of a class action lawsuit, involving the plaintiff and anyone else that snagged the gel/lube offered by LoveHoney in the four years prior. The box text, which quoted the book, apparently got a little too florid in its prose and left the user wanting. While this end of things is a little smirk-worthy, the additional complaint that the gel isn’t latex-compatible is not. I’ve written dozens of product descriptions for products similar to this one, and generally the gels use some sort of oil to keep the menthol in contact with the clit – safflower, vitamin E, etc – and I know those aren’t latex-compatible and can open up tiny micro-tears in the condom. Both Amazon and LoveHoney do not list the ingredients but do call the product out as condom-safe, so I guess we’ll see!

ETA: I’ve got a call in to LoveHoney and the incredibly pleasant phone gal is emailing me a list of ingredients later today. 🙂

UPDATE!

I got the following response. Apparently there’s no (obvious to my eyes, anyway) oils in the formula, so I’m not sure on what grounds the suit is alleging condom incompatibility.

Hi There 

As per our phone call earlier I have the ingredients for the Come alive pleasure gel.
Water
Glycerien
Ethoxdigylycol
Hydroxyethlcellulose
Passiflora Icarnata Flower extract
Coryanthe yohimbe bark extract
Panax
Ginseng root extract
Lepidum meyenii
Turnera aphrodidcia extract
citric acid flavour
Niacin
Methylparaben
Potassium sorbate
Sodium benzoate
Stevia rebaudiana extract
Vanillyl butyl ether
I hope this helps
Kind regards
Lovehoney Customer Care
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The Bound Dildo – A Pre-Roped Silicone Cock

Ya’ll know I’m a kinkster. I met ToySir because of kink and it continues to be a big part of our sex life, three years later. I have a virtual war chest of floggers, rope, vampire gloves, you name it. I also love Dildos (I’d say I’m a Dildologist, but some friends of mine have that field of study locked down already) and the more unique, the better. When my interests collide, I go a little fangirl-y, and that happened this morning.

I love Vixen Creations, I’ve worked with them directly in the past as a rep, but I have to hand it to Tantus Inc. when it comes to unique sculpture and marketing. They’re the evil geniuses behind the sparkly Vamp dildo, rolled out at the height of the Twilight vampire-fuckery craze. Behold their latest offering to the marketplace, by way of SheVibe – the Bound Dildo:

The Bound Dildo from Tantus

The symmetry appeals to my OCD, the textured rope appeals to my kink, and the silicone appeals to my lady business. This beauty is available in cream and brown as well, but I personally think black really nails the ‘feel’ of the sculpt. At only $59, this is a pretty unusual – and unusually pretty – faux wang that everyone that hearts kink ought to own.

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Dildo-Lurve + Tech = Yay!

Hello Toychickers! My fabulous friend Heidi comes up with the best sex toy news and info, she really does. She just shared this gem about a bionic strap-on dildo on Facebook, and I just had to share it with the rest of you guys. 🙂

Technical description image of the crowd-funded Ambrosia Bionic Strap-On Sex Toy.

Those that have been “sex toy fans” for the last 10+ years may remember the Mr. Man, the now-defunct (?) Jollies Pleasure Toys’ dildo with a hollow tube down the center for clitoral suction during dildo blowjobs. I thought that was an awesome idea, but this just takes it to the next level – assuming it functions as intended, of course. I love that sex toys are becoming more about the people using them and less of an excuse to pack ridiculous bells-and-whistles into the space of a shaft and balls. While showmanship (showpersonship?) has its place in the industry, toys should ultimately reflect the desires of those using them, not vice-versa – n’est pas?

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Dildos Broke My Retina

Okay, so it was actually a spontaneous tear. Supposedly. All I know is that New Years Day of 2010, I got knocked out while my eyeball was removed, spruced up and popped back in. Nonetheless, I have seen many, many dildos through my travels in the adult industry, from prototypes to conventions to store shelves. My memory, which is far stronger in visuals (ironically) than anything else, keeps a mental catalog of faux dicks that dance behind my eyelids when I’ve been penning adult store copy too late into the evenings.

My twitter feed produces an endless supply of new online stores, products, and “stuff” from the adult industry – typically, I just add companies to the Massive Manufacturer List or use my findings for yet another installment of Weird Sex Toys of the Week. However, as I was perusing the single forthcoming product from my newest twitter follower, a staggeringly expensive $150 dark chocolate penis filled with your choice of fondants and shipped chilled, something rang out in my visual database of disembodied cocks.

Comparison in Appearances between a Chocolate Penis and a Dildo

I grant, it isn’t identical to the Doc Johnson Dil on the right, but hell of a similarity, isn’t it? If you live in the UK and have 89 pounds burning a hole in your wallet, head over to the awkwardly-named Unindecent.com to grab yourself a chilled, fondant-filled cock.

Chocolate PenisYum.

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Things of Note!

Things that are occurring on the sexy interwebs that you may wish to know.

BAD NEWS:

Shack of Scandals: An asshat blog scraper (a digital thief who copies someone’s original content and uses it illegally for “google notice”, usually laden with ad banners to boot) has been consistently and unrepentantly swiping stuff from a few sexblogger circuit buddies. Read all about AAG’s hilarious counterattack, Mina’s interaction and subsequent nonsensical reply from the owner, or follow those fighting the good fight over on twitter.

GOOD NEWS:

Crystal Causes: Crystal Delights Toys  has organized Crystal Causes, a thoroughly impressive charity event with $12,000 (omfg) in prizes up for grabs. Luxury sex toys galore will find themselves into the hands of a dozen lucky winners during the contest, which has recently been extended ’til August 31st and benefits a variety of sex positive organizations. Read all about it! Crystal Causes Charity Drive.

Papaya Toys: Papaya Toys is now selling to US retailers, including various Pleasure Chest locations and Dallas Novelty.

THINGS AND STUFF

Pretty stone Ben Wa balls!

Stone Ben Wa Balls

 

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The JESTER from Vixen Creations!

Pardon me while I finish hyperventilating into a paper bag.

Anyone who knows me well, knows that I am something of a crazed ferret when it comes to new toys, and anything thusly related. New concepts are my addiction, doubly so in the sex toy industry universe. I scour the trade mags, keep one ear to the ground, and gab with anybody who will stand still long enough about the latest and greatest to hit the scene.

Vixen Creations has ever so kindly allowed me to tap directly in to one of the neatest silicone manufacturers out there. They send me amazing little boxes o’ new stuff, stuff that hasn’t hit the market yet, that I mount on my desk with all the pride of a cheetah that just bagged a gazelle.

‘cept I never have to leave my desk, the gazelle is a rather disinterested UPS man, and I’m wearing sweatpants no cheetah would be caught dead in.

ANYhoo. The latest box of joy landed on my doorstep this afternoon, and I’m starting to get a pavlovian vagina-twinging response to Vixen’s return address on package labels. Mmm. I carefully cut open the box (Silicone has no natural enemies in the wild, save for other silicone and sharp knives) and immediately pulled out a hefty fistful of shimmering teal and deep navy squishy goodness. I puzzled for a second, then the lightbulb went off…this was THE concept toy I had been so thoughtfully informed of awhile back. The JESTER!

The basic gist of it? Hitachi = good. Double Dildos = awesome. Silicone = OMGyes. Put them together and your TTC here is trying not to physically ricochet off the walls with joy. I held it up, hummed the triforce theme from zelda, and was rewarded with a rather annoyed and quizzical look from my cats. The rabbit, to her credit, continued to eat hay and avoided eye contact with the increasingly erratic tall-thing-that-brings-lettuce.

The Jester is 11 1/2″ long, unbent, and about 4″ tall. The shorter dildo is 4 1/2″ long when bent straight, 4 1/2″ in circumference at the widest insertable point, and is pleasantly textured into three sections. The longer dildo is, I believe, based on the Raquel model (a favorite, incidentally, of Ms. Essin Em’), and is 6″ long when bent straight, 5 1/4″ in circumference at the widest insertable point, and has a nice bulbous head.

The center takes a hint from the super-sexy Off With Your Head cap, incorporating three pronounced ridges for all sorts of fun applications. The main idea, if I’m guessing right, is to turn the hitachi head side down, slide on the cap (with a little water-based lube around the inside edges for easy on and off!) and insert one or both stems in willing partner(s). Vixen Creations has even thoughtfully shaped in a protruding nubs on the base at each side for clitoral stimulation during penetration!

Tipping the scales at just over a pound of luscious, boilable, body-friendly silicone, this super sweet hitachi cap resembles it’s namesake, and is just full of shimmery beauty. I love it. A lot. Like, a whole lot.

-TTC

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