Dildos Broke My Retina

on August 6, 2011

Okay, so it was actually a spontaneous tear. Supposedly. All I know is that New Years Day of 2010, I got knocked out while my eyeball was removed, spruced up and popped back in. Nonetheless, I have seen many, many dildos through my travels in the adult industry, from prototypes to conventions to store shelves. My memory, which is far stronger in visuals (ironically) than anything else, keeps a mental catalog of faux dicks that dance behind my eyelids when I’ve been penning adult store copy too late into the evenings.

My twitter feed produces an endless supply of new online stores, products, and “stuff” from the adult industry – typically, I just add companies to the Massive Manufacturer List or use my findings for yet another installment of Weird Sex Toys of the Week. However, as I was perusing the single forthcoming product from my newest twitter follower, a staggeringly expensive $150 dark chocolate penis filled with your choice of fondants and shipped chilled, something rang out in my visual database of disembodied cocks.

Comparison in Appearances between a Chocolate Penis and a Dildo

I grant, it isn’t identical to the Doc Johnson Dil on the right, but hell of a similarity, isn’t it? If you live in the UK and have 89 pounds burning a hole in your wallet, head over to the awkwardly-named Unindecent.com to grab yourself a chilled, fondant-filled cock.

Chocolate PenisYum.


One response to “Dildos Broke My Retina

  1. Frugal Sex says:

    What a delicious looking cock! I’d never pay that much money for it, but damn does it look tasty!

    This title also gave me a good chuckle.

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