Poor Rachel Kramer Bussel Reviews Farrah Abraham’s New Erotic Novel

Hey guys – remember that lackluster teen mom “star”  that made a regrettable sex tape with the lovely James Deen? Yeah, I don’t either. In the off chance that you’re following that particular train wreck with an iota of interest, she’s branched out into the publishing world (god help us all) with an erotic novel. Hooray.

My favorite editrix waded into that particular pool of…creativity…to tell us what’s up. Main takeaway? She bedazzled her 4th wall until it fell right the fuck over and needs an editor. Check it out on TheFrisky via the link below!

Rachael Kramer Bussel on The Best & Worst Of Farrah Abraham’s Erotic Novel, In The Making (Celebrity Sex Tape)

The Bound Dildo – A Pre-Roped Silicone Cock

Ya’ll know I’m a kinkster. I met ToySir because of kink and it continues to be a big part of our sex life, three years later. I have a virtual war chest of floggers, rope, vampire gloves, you name it. I also love Dildos (I’d say I’m a Dildologist, but some friends of mine have that field of study locked down already) and the more unique, the better. When my interests collide, I go a little fangirl-y, and that happened this morning.

I love Vixen Creations, I’ve worked with them directly in the past as a rep, but I have to hand it to Tantus Inc. when it comes to unique sculpture and marketing. They’re the evil geniuses behind the sparkly Vamp dildo, rolled out at the height of the Twilight vampire-fuckery craze. Behold their latest offering to the marketplace, by way of SheVibe – the Bound Dildo:

The symmetry appeals to my OCD, the textured rope appeals to my kink, and the silicone appeals to my lady business. This beauty is available in cream and brown as well, but I personally think black really nails the ‘feel’ of the sculpt. At only $59, this is a pretty unusual – and unusually pretty – faux wang that everyone that hearts kink ought to own.

Dildo-Lurve + Tech = Yay!

Hello Toychickers! My fabulous friend Heidi comes up with the best sex toy news and info, she really does. She just shared this gem about a bionic strap-on dildo on Facebook, and I just had to share it with the rest of you guys. 🙂

Those that have been “sex toy fans” for the last 10+ years may remember the Mr. Man, the now-defunct (?) Jollies Pleasure Toys’ dildo with a hollow tube down the center for clitoral suction during dildo blowjobs. I thought that was an awesome idea, but this just takes it to the next level – assuming it functions as intended, of course. I love that sex toys are becoming more about the people using them and less of an excuse to pack ridiculous bells-and-whistles into the space of a shaft and balls. While showmanship (showpersonship?) has its place in the industry, toys should ultimately reflect the desires of those using them, not vice-versa – n’est pas?

Carnal Connections: Technology + Sex

I love my computer, but only platonically. Okay, maybe sometimes redtube gets up in the mix and things get a little hot and heavy, but for the most part I haven’t yet turned my consumer electronic devices to more personal applications. I may be in the minority, however, with sex and tech becoming intimate bedfellows – one product launch at a time.

The Mojowiijo

 

This product has been heating up the interwebz for a few weeks now, and it looks really intriguing. The kind folks there were nice enough to send me all the specs and info, because I’ll admit at first glance I wasn’t quite sure how the operation end of it worked. It evidently taps into the bluetooth capabilities of the familiar wii remote (“wiimote”), using them to connect with your home computer (the Wii console isn’t actually needed). From there, it translates the movements of a distant partner – via a combination of skype and the mojowiijo program – into variable vibrations through the device. A ‘female’ version, which is a G-spotter shaft reminiscent of the Lelo Gigi, joins an interesting half-moon shaped ‘male’ version that wraps around a male users shaft. Thoughtfully, the company also makes mention of same sex use and pairings on their FAQs, which I thought was a particularly classy inclusive touch. Get yours for 119 each or 229 for a pair when you buy Mojowijo Sex Toys Online.

 

QR Condoms from WhereDidYouWearIt.com Campaign

Internet-enabled condoms? Well, not quite yet, but we’re getting closer! A brilliant campaign from Planned Parenthood of the Great Northwest has paired up the social media-friendly phenomena of QR codes – special digital “visual shortcuts” that perform an action when focused on with a cell phone camera – with the smart choice of protected sex to appeal to the cell-phone-lovin youth of today. Scanning the QR code adds an anonymous GPS-enabled entry to WhereDidYouWearIt.com to show where the user practiced safe sex. It’s…unsurprisingly…pretty popular already.

 

The iPhone-enabled Freestyle W Rabbit Vibe from OhMiBod.

Speaking of iPhone addiction, the idea of the phone-as-sex-toy has taken new leaps while your Toychick wasn’t paying attention, and OhMiBod’s got some ridiculously awesome new toys out. How about a rabbit vibrator that can be controlled with a FREE itunes app? The Freestyle W is sleek, sexy and pretty damn cool.

(Having recently written fresh copy for the clusterfuck of awful that is the Highjoy Internet Enabled Rabbit, seeing stuff like this is refreshing. The Highjoy software gets low marks every time it’s reviewed, requires BOTH partners to pony up a monthly “membership” fee that’s more than some Netflix subscriptions, and offers little more than a headache in the setup process. It may have been revolutionary in the time of AOL 3.0 and Nokia brick phones, but the time has come for this vibe & its technology to make a graceful exit, citing competition like OhMiBod’s innovation.)

The JESTER from Vixen Creations!

Pardon me while I finish hyperventilating into a paper bag.

Anyone who knows me well, knows that I am something of a crazed ferret when it comes to new toys, and anything thusly related. New concepts are my addiction, doubly so in the sex toy industry universe. I scour the trade mags, keep one ear to the ground, and gab with anybody who will stand still long enough about the latest and greatest to hit the scene.

Vixen Creations has ever so kindly allowed me to tap directly in to one of the neatest silicone manufacturers out there. They send me amazing little boxes o’ new stuff, stuff that hasn’t hit the market yet, that I mount on my desk with all the pride of a cheetah that just bagged a gazelle.

‘cept I never have to leave my desk, the gazelle is a rather disinterested UPS man, and I’m wearing sweatpants no cheetah would be caught dead in.

ANYhoo. The latest box of joy landed on my doorstep this afternoon, and I’m starting to get a pavlovian vagina-twinging response to Vixen’s return address on package labels. Mmm. I carefully cut open the box (Silicone has no natural enemies in the wild, save for other silicone and sharp knives) and immediately pulled out a hefty fistful of shimmering teal and deep navy squishy goodness. I puzzled for a second, then the lightbulb went off…this was THE concept toy I had been so thoughtfully informed of awhile back. The JESTER!

The basic gist of it? Hitachi = good. Double Dildos = awesome. Silicone = OMGyes. Put them together and your TTC here is trying not to physically ricochet off the walls with joy. I held it up, hummed the triforce theme from zelda, and was rewarded with a rather annoyed and quizzical look from my cats. The rabbit, to her credit, continued to eat hay and avoided eye contact with the increasingly erratic tall-thing-that-brings-lettuce.

The Jester is 11 1/2″ long, unbent, and about 4″ tall. The shorter dildo is 4 1/2″ long when bent straight, 4 1/2″ in circumference at the widest insertable point, and is pleasantly textured into three sections. The longer dildo is, I believe, based on the Raquel model (a favorite, incidentally, of Ms. Essin Em’), and is 6″ long when bent straight, 5 1/4″ in circumference at the widest insertable point, and has a nice bulbous head.

The center takes a hint from the super-sexy Off With Your Head cap, incorporating three pronounced ridges for all sorts of fun applications. The main idea, if I’m guessing right, is to turn the hitachi head side down, slide on the cap (with a little water-based lube around the inside edges for easy on and off!) and insert one or both stems in willing partner(s). Vixen Creations has even thoughtfully shaped in a protruding nubs on the base at each side for clitoral stimulation during penetration!

Tipping the scales at just over a pound of luscious, boilable, body-friendly silicone, this super sweet hitachi cap resembles it’s namesake, and is just full of shimmery beauty. I love it. A lot. Like, a whole lot.

-TTC