Weird Sex Toys O’ The Week: Chocolate Quickie Edition

on February 7, 2015

Few bits of coding have a more puzzling, concerning and thankless job than the tracking algorithms on my Amazon account. On quiet evenings, when I’m looking for a tin of my favorite tea or a jar of fancy cooking spices, I’ll forget how often I talk to all of you here and find that there’s a big rubber horse cock smack dab in the middle of my suggested products. If I’m alone, I get a giggle out of it – if my husband is nearby, I get a raised eyebrow and cautious questions about which route my passions are taking lately. If I have company, though…woo. There’s awkward for you – No no..haha..I don’t…this is for a blog I wr- you know what, nevermind. I’m sorry. I only like horses in a platonic sense, I swear!

Such is the case with chocolate anuses.

Edible chocolate shaped like anuses.

When only the finest of chocolate buttholes will do.

 

Surprisingly chic in their presentation, ten boxes (coworkers! in laws! poly groups! mail carriers!) ¬†of chocolate anuses will set you back $72.95, but can you really put a price on chocolate butthole love? Isn’t your loved one worth approximately $7.30 USD worth of Belgian chocolate, formed into the puckered likenesses of an asshole trio? I know mine are, so maybe you should stop being such a cheapskate, cheapskate.

 

Climax Chocolate Bar With Kama Sutra X-Rated Scene

Cirque De Soleil meets Debbie Does Dallas.

 

For those that need something a little more refined in their smut-emblazoned chocolate treats, Climax Chocolates has a variety of Kama Sutra Position Chocolates for a mere $4.80 apiece. It took me a solid (milk chocolate?) five minutes to figure out which leg belonged to which sexual partner here, and that’s how you know it’s worth giving. Delight your lovers and confound your enemies – they’ll never accuse you of rummaging around in a Spencer’s adult toy clearance bin if you come bearing this puppy.

While they aren’t overpriced roses, there’s no doubt either one of these will leave a lasting impression on your special someone. Definitely lasting. Yep.

 


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