Weird Sex Toys O The Week: My Little Pony Sex Toys Edition

A Quick State of the ToyChick Address:

Hello, dear readers – I’m sorry I’ve been MIA. To make a (very) long story short, life in TTC-land is anything but rosy. ToySir – who I’m now going to call ToyDude because BDSM has utterly evaporated from our lives – had to have back surgery last year. Our relationship has been on something of a downhill spiral, we aren’t having sex and I’m messed up in head, heart, and ladyparts over it. Not exactly sexy, I know, but if you’re still around to be reading this, you’re a loyal reader and you deserve to know what’s up. The back surgery led to the uncovering of other issues on his part, as well as a long month and a half with only my paycheck coming into the house, and I’ve been working three jobs AND going to school in a frantic effort to cover the deficit. Two of our three (crappy, don’t think we have a stable of Beamers or anything) cars quit in a two week period and now my life is mostly reduced to getting him to work 45 minutes away on his ever-changing work schedule, me to school and my three jobs with a single car and a fervent prayer against overlap. There’s an uneasy limbo going on this last month that I’m not entirely sure will hold, and I’m a little fritzed in the brain trying to keep it all together with my only support being a partner who is withholding sex and generally disregarding me.

tl;dr – Everything sucks and I miss you guys.

Thankfully, I don’t have to be gettin any to share weird, fun sexy things with you all, which I’m going to try to do with more regularity, now that my botched eye surgery from last spring has reached a sort-of status quo. There are several book reviews coming up, many from my Editrix-crush Rachel Kramer Bussel, and probably some more video reviews because I know ya’ll dig those. It’s going to take me a bit to re-acclimate to the adult industry after my absence, so bear with me if I’m telling wang jokes you’ve heard before. 🙂

Fuckable My Little Pony Inflatable Dolls / Pony Fuckery /Equestria Blow Up Dolls

Flutter NOTSO shy, you mean. Eh? …Ehhh?

This is where the plushies and pony lovers collide in one zippered, not-exactly-anatomically-correct pegasus poon. No one could possibly *actually* have sex with that, TTC. It’s gotta be a joke. Uhhh…how long have you been reading my blog? Obvs I have empirical, NSFW, cannot-be-unseen proof of Fluttershy fuckery.

I was going to make a “My Little Porny” reference here, but it’s just too easy.

According to this site, which apparently specializes in covering faux horse fuck toys, this is the newest ‘novelty’ to hit unsuspecting sex toy shelves. This strange cartoon/Equestria/BBW version of Rainbow Dash will set you back $99 and perhaps more than a dash (har!) of uncomfortable interactions with customs in the process. I’m glad that, at least in the inflatable monokini-cartoon-girl-pony-hybrid-inflatable sex doll market, there’s no body-shaming. Friendship is magic, and also, apparently, all about that bass too.

Now *that* is how you do trademark-safe marketing. Kudos, dude.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t give a nod (and a mane toss?) in the direction of the infamous Bad Dragon and their wonderfully-named hues of Equine Rump strokers. It’s a masterpiece of saying-but-not-saying, and my inner saleswoman cheered.

Unlike much of the internet, I’ve got no beef with my plush-lovin, fursuited peers. I may poke a little fun at some of their toys here, but honestly – of all the fetish groups they tend to be the most honest, compassionate and supportive of one another that I’ve seen. High five/paw/hoof/wing to you, my friends, and I hope you take this in the tongue-in-cheek spirit it was intended. 

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