This kind of looks like an angry goat to me, honestly.
So, this blog post was spurred on by the appearance of a Unicorn Head Dildo in my Fetlife ads – yes, an actual, full-on head, not a horn.
It’s made out of phthalate-free PVC, is individually crafted by a company called Evolvdo, and the Unicorn Head Dildo can be yours for a mere $185.00.
RIP, Unicorn Horn Dildo. š¦
Sadly, the wonderfulisciousness of Whipspider Rubberworks horns has fallen prey to the sex toy manufacturing “fade” – they dropped off the map around 2012 and took their infamous silicone unicorn horn dildos with them. There are stillĀ glass unicorn horn dildosĀ and rock unicorn horn dildos to be had on Etsy, though!
It got me thinking – where the hell is the carousel horse porn? I mean, there is literally porn for pretty much everything else on the planet, and god knows sexy My Little PonyĀ is in vogue right now, but carousel porn, carousel horse sex toys – nada. Zip. A case could be made for pony play, I suppose, but that’s more along the lines of leather and pomp than I’m aiming for here.
Like, this. This crazy ass carousel (literally) porn video was the best I was able to turn up, and that makes me sad. This makes me feel slightly better, though.Ā
I suppose I’ll have to write carousel erotica (not to be confused with interspecies unicorn erotica) then. It will join the sullied-yet-illustrious ranks of my jungle kitsch spider-man-hybrid 1950’s porn and my infamous Olive Garden slashfic. The things we do for smutty, smutty art…
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