Praying (Mantis)

on May 6, 2012

So I’ve been furious.

Oddly enough it isn’t over any of the million things – women’s healthcare, proposition 1 in NC, the persistent belief that there’s only one right way to do things – that I could be angry about, it’s just an atomic level of frustration and irritation at the way things are going. I’ve gotten to near desk-flipping rage before 9 am consistently the past week, and everything from PDF contract file snafus to money issues have touched me off. Comfort food, meditation and even snuggling with my much-loved polydactyl boycat has failed to send these blues (reds?) away.

My husband’s also been hitting it on the regular, and I’m starting to wonder if that’s what’s bringing up these bouts of she-hulk-like rage. We have sex, I pass out for at least 2 hours, and I wake up like someone smacked me awake in the middle of the afternoon. Even the sex is angry, though I keep that under wraps so I don’t kill my awesome spouse. I have, however, left dents in the paneling and mussed up the sheets with my nails. I want to hurt things, even while I’m having amazing sex. I don’t get it, really – I tend to be very even tempered, if tilted toward easy annoyance, the vast majority of the time. This run of rage is very outside of normalcy for moi.

Part of me wonders if we’ve succeeded in creating ToyChicklet Mark 2, but the tests have dashed my hopes where that’s concerned.

Has anyone else ever experienced unsourced fury of this variety?

 


2 responses to “Praying (Mantis)

  1. Frankie says:

    You might want to ask your doctor, if this continues. I used to have a lot of recklessly angry sex but I was also severely depressed at the time. I hope everything works out ok!

  2. poohbear says:

    Some times a good (BDSM) beating helps me – to the point that i can not do anything but break down and cry my guts out for 30 minutes afterwords. There is also a labyrinth park near by – i go walk.

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