50 Shades of Class Action Lawsuit

It’s no secret among my friends that I have more than a little disdain for this “50 Shades of Grey” crap. The writing, much like Twilight, is atrocious from a writer’s standpoint and the broken message is one that’s going to cause the BDSM community headaches for years to come. While the ol’ rope bag is on hiatus for the time being, I’m still very much involved in the social aspect of a (surprisingly robust for a southern state) kink scene and I was just discussing the implications of the dreaded movie with my friend. We’re bracing ourselves for an influx of swaggering asshole Doms and naive subs for them to prey on to come flooding into our chatrooms, social networks and meetups. So while I’m grateful to the story for making “us” a little more mainstream, I’m cringing at the prospect of the social aftermath.

Fun fact: the American spelling of Gray and the UK spelling of Grey can be differentiated by their vowels – E for England and A for America. You’re welcome!

Apparently, a California resident who slathered on some of the 50 Shades of Grey Pleasure Gel is also unhappy with a different kind of aftermath – or rather, a lack thereof. The Wrap recently reported the woman’s dissatisfaction was making it’s way to a courtroom in the form of a class action lawsuit, involving the plaintiff and anyone else that snagged the gel/lube offered by LoveHoney in the four years prior. The box text, which quoted the book, apparently got a little too florid in its prose and left the user wanting. While this end of things is a little smirk-worthy, the additional complaint that the gel isn’t latex-compatible is not. I’ve written dozens of product descriptions for products similar to this one, and generally the gels use some sort of oil to keep the menthol in contact with the clit – safflower, vitamin E, etc – and I know those aren’t latex-compatible and can open up tiny micro-tears in the condom. Both Amazon and LoveHoney do not list the ingredients but do call the product out as condom-safe, so I guess we’ll see!

ETA: I’ve got a call in to LoveHoney and the incredibly pleasant phone gal is emailing me a list of ingredients later today. 🙂

UPDATE!

I got the following response. Apparently there’s no (obvious to my eyes, anyway) oils in the formula, so I’m not sure on what grounds the suit is alleging condom incompatibility. Either way, props to the LoveHoney team for getting back to me so quickly and thoroughly…wish all retailers would hop to like this when important questions are on the line!

Hi There 

As per our phone call earlier I have the ingredients for the Come alive pleasure gel.
Water
Glycerien
Ethoxdigylycol
Hydroxyethlcellulose
Passiflora Icarnata Flower extract
Coryanthe yohimbe bark extract
Panax
Ginseng root extract
Lepidum meyenii
Turnera aphrodidcia extract
citric acid flavour
Niacin
Methylparaben
Potassium sorbate
Sodium benzoate
Stevia rebaudiana extract
Vanillyl butyl ether
I hope this helps
Kind regards
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Weird Sex Toys O The Week: Toybox Edition

As long as there are toys and puberty-driven libidos and curiosity in the world, there will always be a slightly uncomfortable intersection of the two. Imprints are made, bodies are discovered, and before you know it things like vibrating rubber duckies are flooding (har!) the market.

 

And then, naturally, the overwhelming urge to stash, hide, obscure or otherwise disavow visual connection with the same buzzing toys that we smoosh in and around our genitals on the regular. Even long after we move out of the family home and set up boundaries in adulthood, we somehow still feel that urge to pretend we don’t have toys. What better way to hide them than with a…toy?

And then, of course, you have the toys that are both toys and toys. The I Rub My Duckie falls into this category, but it’s still a bit tongue-in-cheek. It could pass for a massager if it absolutely had to. You know what kinda can’t? The Cunnilingus Mcstuffins – er, I mean, Teddy Love here.

Teddy Love Vibrating Teddy Bear

See if you can spot the “discreet vibrating device”.

Teddy Love Vibrating Teddy Bear

Once you see it, it cannot be unseen.

Teddy Love Vibrating Teddy Bear

…ever.

 

My esteemed dildo colleague Epiphora presented the sexy interwebz with her own brutal takedown of Cunnilingus McStuffins Teddy Love recently as well, if you’d care to read more into Teddygate 2014.

Is this a little disturbing? To the mainstream, sure. But the marketing is the most offensive thing with fluff-n-stuff, in my opinion. Elsewise, he’s just an awkwardly-conceived hybrid of sex toy and stuffed animal, kind of like a mermaid that ends up with a fish head and human legs instead of vice versa. It’s a joke you cough a stilted laugh at and move on, unless you’re a plushie in which case you go looking for your wallet.

Besides, it’s hardly the most explicit stuffed-animal-you-can-fuck on the market…

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