Weird Sex Toys O The Week: Toybox Edition

on June 22, 2014

As long as there are toys and puberty-driven libidos and curiosity in the world, there will always be a slightly uncomfortable intersection of the two. Imprints are made, bodies are discovered, and before you know it things like vibrating rubber duckies are flooding (har!) the market.

 

And then, naturally, the overwhelming urge to stash, hide, obscure or otherwise disavow visual connection with the same buzzing toys that we smoosh in and around our genitals on the regular. Even long after we move out of the family home and set up boundaries in adulthood, we somehow still feel that urge to pretend we don’t have toys. What better way to hide them than with a…toy?

And then, of course, you have the toys that are both toys and toys. The I Rub My Duckie falls into this category, but it’s still a bit tongue-in-cheek. It could pass for a massager if it absolutely had to. You know what kinda can’t? The Cunnilingus Mcstuffins – er, I mean, Teddy Love here.

Teddy Love Vibrating Teddy Bear

See if you can spot the “discreet vibrating device”.

Teddy Love Vibrating Teddy Bear

Once you see it, it cannot be unseen.

Teddy Love Vibrating Teddy Bear

…ever.

 

My esteemed dildo colleague Epiphora presented the sexy interwebz with her own brutal takedown of Cunnilingus McStuffins Teddy Love recently as well, if you’d care to read more into Teddygate 2014.

Is this a little disturbing? To the mainstream, sure. But the marketing is the most offensive thing with fluff-n-stuff, in my opinion. Elsewise, he’s just an awkwardly-conceived hybrid of sex toy and stuffed animal, kind of like a mermaid that ends up with a fish head and human legs instead of vice versa. It’s a joke you cough a stilted laugh at and move on, unless you’re a plushie in which case you go looking for your wallet.

Besides, it’s hardly the most explicit stuffed-animal-you-can-fuck on the market…


One response to “Weird Sex Toys O The Week: Toybox Edition

  1. Ivy's Toybox says:

    Slightly disturbing yet hilarious!

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