Weird Sex Toys O’ The Week: “This Really Exists?” Edition

on July 18, 2011

Hello, Dear Readers.

I make no mistake that the vast majority of visitors to my humble blog come for WTF-ishness and not my stellar writing skillz. With that in mind, I’m going to make a very concentrated effort to keep my WSTOTW feature actually weekly, and not…less so…as it’s been previously. I would like to add the caveat to this feature that an item’s spotlight here doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a bad/unsexy item, only that it’s a little left of normal for some sex toy dabblers. It’s my aim to provoke interest and discussion – certain flavored items have spawned discussions about sexual hygiene stances, for instance, while dildo shapes have often had the blogosphere buzzing about anatomical reality versus perceptions.

That being said, I present you with an array of goodies that are likely to make some heads tilt:

Cockattoo Penis Tattoo Sleeves

1.) The Cockattoo : A temporary tattoo for….your penis. Sure, they’re no Dapper Dicks costumes, or Tuxedo Condoms, or even Happenis Hats, but they’re definitely unusual. Guys, I was with you right up until the Marriage Proposal one.  I never in my life imagined that I’d have to turn to my partner and inform him that he was not allowed to propose via a cock tattoo.  Granted, the odd photoshopping of a penis-beak on a black palm cockatoo (I was raised in a bird family, long story) and the pseudo lounge-music on the site were also a bit off-putting, as was the glow-in-the-dark ring toss sleeve option, but I imagine somewhere there’s a guy that loves humiliation and is chomping at the (cock-shaped, tattooed) bit to get at these suckers.

Divine Interventions Bible Sex Toy

2.) Divine Interventions’ Bible Thumper ($27, Black or Silver). You’ve heard of well-placed bibles stopping bullets, but have you ever heard of a good book containing one? This sex toy is essentially a silicone sleeve for your favorite bullet, and measures a diminutive 2.75 inches tall by  2 inches wide. For blasphemy lovers, this one is hard to beat (har!), especially with a little Holy Water Lube.

Cthulu Dildo

3.) Mythos Art Dildo ($175) – Finally, your love for H.P. Lovecraft and the elder gods can be your LOVE for H.P. Lovecraft and the elder gods. Necronomicox, of recent fame for their realistic Zombie Dildos, continues to appeal to the loins of the sci-fi crowds.


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