The Harness That Made Me A Sexual Superhero: Joque Harness Review (Myspare.com)

on November 19, 2009

Pssst. There’s a contest at the end. Read through! (Congrats to our winner, RavenQuince!)

***

Hello, my dear readers. I know it’s been a good long while since I’ve related a tale of sticking something in me or on me, so I was well overdue for a review or two.

Spareparts Harnesses are a company I’ve had the pleasure of knowing and dealing with for a few years. They are one of those special toy companies whispered about from harness users to harness users, usually prefaced with “Ohmigod you have GOT to try…”

Their “swimsuit material” harnesses can be used in the shower/bath/pool/hot tub, and are designed – get this – with the WEARER in mind, not the (90-pounds-soaking-wet / has never seen another vagina or a guy to be pegged in her LIFE) model on the front of the box. They are comfortable, intuitive, and just…well, they’re just awesome. Can you tell I like these things? The first time I tried a harness on, it was a “leather” one from one of the “big guys” of toy manufacturing. There were so many straps, buckles, cinches, and scary-looking hardware dangling from it, that by the time I squished my svelte size 20 frame into it, I’m fairly sure a casual passerby would think I had let my underwear and a parachute rig have hasty unprotected sex.

To duplicate the experience, I slipped the Joque on *without* reading the instructions at all. It honestly took all of thirty seconds, and my inner dialogue went something like, “Oh! Okay, that goes here…wow, will you look at that? Well that was easy. Velcro! I love…ooh, the leg straps are stretchy too. Wow, this is actually..it feels just like I’m only wearing underwear. I wonder if I could fit…”

And yes, folks. I did, in fact, fit the Ebon Stallion in this thing. 5.25″ in circumference and giant balls…not to mention it’s CERAMIC. I walked around the house with this obscenely large ceramic penis jutting out in front of me like a flagpole, and damned if it didn’t stay exactly where I put it. There was no…er…drooping, shall we say? The 90 degree angle held up through several renditions of the risky business dance through my living room.  The reason behind this is a thick O ring made of many, many layers of the same material of the harness that stretches and conforms to whatever you’re equipping the harness with.

Even despite my best harness-wearing wiggle, my guy was immune to my pegging charms (he wanted to fix computers instead of getting buttsecks…you believe that?) and so I took revenge on his backup girlfriend, the Fleshlight. I swapped out the big boy for my trusty goodfella, slipping on a condom -before- sliding it through the O ring (which actually works very well to keep the condom in place, a good consideration for those who are sharing toys with non-fluid-bonded partners), lubed up, and went to town.

Wow. Okay, I totally see why people rock the strap on now. I mean, I’ve played around with my “other” harness (who will be languishing alone in the drawer now) and I got that “Oh, hey, cool I have a penis” thing…but it was NOTHING like wearing the Jocque. I actually climaxed with nothing going on internally, because the Joque sits the dildo of choice right where it should.  There was no chafing, pinches, or anything to remind me that I was wearing a harness and a silicone dildo to disrupt my daydreams I had managed to spontenously grow a bio wang of my very own.

Why I like the Joque:

Washable: When I do manage to pull my guy away from his computers, pegging will be a cinch because I can just toss the whole harness into the wash when I’m done. That was a really nice feature to me, because my guy and I both enjoy all sorts of sex play, but are very adamant about proper cleanup when all is said and done.

Easy To Put On: I’m a total spaz. If I can get this thing on without reading instructions and without dislocating something – believe me, you can too.

It Lurves Big Girls: I got size “B”, and I’m a size 20 in pantaloons. I do not feel like I’m stretching the wearability limits…and in fact, feel like it would very comfortably fit bigger girls than I with the straps let out.  It adjusts with four plastic buckles on thick (quality) elastic straps around the legs and under the butt and two similarly buckled straps over two folding panels of velcro on the generously thick waist band. A size “A” is also available for smaller wearers.

They Support NYSBC: www.SparePartsHardware.com generously donated a harness to raise funds for SWA during the calendar party raffle. Wouldn’t you like to own toys that you know support the causes YOU believe in?

***

Because they’re kickass, Spareparts not only gave me a Joque to review and a Joque for the NYSBC raffle, they also gave me one for YOU! That’s right, you could have a superhero harness all your own to..you know…dance around the living room with. Or whatever. Ahem.

This lovely chocolate colored Joque is a Size “A”  (edited to add: Size A fits a 20-50″ waist) and ready to rock the world of a winner (and their lucky partner(s)!) I will be drawing a winner a week from now from everyone who leaves me a comment in this post. Yep, that’s it – just leave a comment! Make sure there’s an email or some way to contact you (blog link, twitter name, etc) in the comment or I can’t give you your goodies!

While it isn’t required, tweeting is an awful nice thing to do, don’t ya think? 😉 Hey! @ThatToyChick is giving away a Joque Spareparts Harness! http://tinyurl.com/yz7rnr5 – Please RT 🙂

-Luv, TTC


62 responses to “The Harness That Made Me A Sexual Superhero: Joque Harness Review (Myspare.com)

  1. awesomeeffing says:

    Hey, it’s EffinSara… you can find me either on twitter (same name), AIM (same name), or at my blog: http://effinawesome.wordpress.com

    The Joque sounds like a lot of fun!

  2. Angel says:

    Ooh girl you make me want to buy a ticket to go over sea’s so I can pegged a few of my boys. 😉 Ooh and to know that I will climax as well, mmm. Thanks for the info.

  3. ammre says:

    I’ve been lusting after this harness for at least a year now, I’ve fondled it at babeland, I’ve perved it on sex toy sites I’ve read multiple reviews. (yours has caused me the most giggles, dancing ceramic dildo) I wish your giveaway wasn’t a size A. That makes my size 24/26 ass weep.

    but yeah, awesome review. Will RT about it.

  4. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by ammre, ThatToyChick. ThatToyChick said: Hey ya'll – want to win a harness? A Spareparts one, at that? Check my review! 🙂 http://tinyurl.com/yz7rnr5 […]

  5. Epiphora says:

    You’re trying to kill me! My Joque review is in the works too… now I want to finish it so that I can pimp out your contest before it ends. The race is on, Toy Chick…

  6. Dragon Mage says:

    Ooo … I know Luvbunny would like to have one of those to play with. ^_^ (and I can’t say that I would mind her having one, either)

  7. Saraid says:

    I’ve been lusting after one of these forever.

    You can also contact me on Twitter: Saraidx

  8. Ang says:

    Ooooh, I wonder what the size limits for a size A are… either way, if I didn’t fit it my wife would. And she’s more likely to be using it on someone, I suppose…

    The sizes run thusly: Size A (fits 20-50”) – Size B (fits 35-65”) 🙂 – TTC

  9. VeraFromFYN says:

    Great review! Picturing you dancing around in your living room like Tom Cruise made me giggle out loud! Thanks for the image!

    I agree; the Spartparts harness is GREAT, especially because it fits a variety of body sizes AND is washable- a plus (you know, cause lube gets all over!) AND because it comes in PURPLE 😉

    ThatToyChick, I don’t want to win one, but I just wanted to let your readers know that they can buy one on my new website, http://www.lustincase.com/ in case they don’t win…

    The link:
    http://www.lustincase.com/store.php/products/joque-harness

    TOYKIT will save you 10% on Lust In Case; TOYCASE 10% of on For Your Nymphomation 😉

    Vera
    http://www.foryournymphomation.com
    http://www.lustincase.com/

  10. Skychasing says:

    This is officially the first harness that I am truly interested in! I’ve never been good with straps & buckles but the Joque looks fabulous.
    I’m Skychasing on twitter, by the by.
    (fingers crossed!)

  11. Eliot says:

    I want a Spareparts harness. I like the look of them and I’ve been wanting to pack lately. Here’s hoping I’m the one chosen! 😀

  12. Eliot says:

    Oh, wait, it’s a size A which means it’s small than the B, right? Darn, I’m bigger than you are so it wouldn’t fit me. Ah, well. Good luck to everyone else!

    The sizes: Size A (fits 20-50”) – Size B (fits 35-65”) – TTC

  13. Toygirl says:

    Yeah, what are the size limits? I’m @toygirl.

    The sizes are: Size A (fits 20-50”) – Size B (fits 35-65”) -TTC

  14. mistresscurie says:

    Want want want want!

  15. Mina says:

    I don’t have a harness and these look great! So I’m definitely interested 🙂

  16. Psycosis says:

    We’ve been looking to get a new harness so this couldn’t come at a better time. *fingercrossing*

  17. Misty W. says:

    Ohhh I want one. I have always wanted to try a harness but they are scary looking with all the buckles. This one sounds perfect for a beginner like me.

  18. kate says:

    I have not seen a review of this harness before, but am now even more intrigued by it. It may be just the thing I need to go from hand held to harness play with the boyfriend.

  19. Awesome post!
    Harnesses are difficult to purchase for many reasons, and this one sounds divine 🙂
    Spareparts sounds like a good option!

  20. MsSamber says:

    I’ve been looking into harnesses for a while, I think my size 18 ass can even fit in the A. If I win I am sooo doing a shoot in it! And a review. And a happy dance unlike any other!
    @MsSamber

  21. Arron says:

    Erm… sorry to drool all over this post, but oh man, this is high on my wish list.
    -Arron, Amok_ on twitter, ya know.

  22. kalisisrising says:

    Intriguing…for a femme who has never before had any desire to strap on no less.

  23. d says:

    my partner has one of these and i’ve gotten to use it when he’s not hogging it and i fell in love.

    also, unlike a lot of other harnesses i’ve tried, this one ise also really comfortable for packing under your clothes cause it doesn’t have buckles and straps and all that business all over.

    basically, i 100% want one.

  24. Muse says:

    I have to leave a comment cause my really awesome partner and I are looking for a silicone cock to further queer our already queer-tastic relationship…

    I’m not going to tweet this cause it’s not appropriate for my professional image on twitter but i will let a few folks know privately.

    • Muse says:

      hmm – i need to leave you contact info. sexy email is cerenegirl at…

      (Edit: Dun want the awful spambots to get ahold of you, doll. I took out the pertinent half of your email – mine’s the same, so I’ll remember 🙂 -TTC)

  25. Sophia says:

    I’ve been wanting a harness but they are just so damn expensive. Would love to get my hands on this one!

  26. melissa says:

    Ah! I’ve been eyeing this harness forEVERR and I’ve recently decided that it is definitely next on my list! Thanks for the review– it just confirms my lust for spareparts 😀 @scribblepaper

  27. Trish says:

    Hot damn, that sounds amazing! I’ve only ever used one harness and it’s always a pain to figure out. Thanks for the contest!!

  28. Sefv says:

    I’d been looking up different harnesses and this one has caught my eye a lot, even bringing it up with my girlfriend as a christmas present. but we’re both poor college students so fingers crossed that this helps out.

  29. B says:

    Good deal! Consider it retweeted!

  30. tim1724 says:

    Great review. Sounds like a good harness … always nice when manufacturers keep different body sizes in mind when designing products!

  31. polywolf says:

    Sweet. Hope I win, because a decent harness is a bit pricey for me these days…

  32. sexual_newbie says:

    I’ve actauly looked into getting this harness for my my wife and I. I want to get into pegging and use it on her when I’m not hard.

  33. Jarime says:

    Well I think the wife just might enjoy the hell out of this 🙂 Twitter @jarime

  34. Garnet Joyce says:

    Oooh sounds fab! I would love to get my hands on one of those. garnetjoyce at gmail

  35. ted says:

    Usable in a hot tub or shower? Will have to try that

  36. a says:

    yay! i love me some joque!

  37. ss1021 says:

    Thanks for the great review! I am glad to hear some feedback from a girl who is a “double digit” size.
    I’ve been saving for this harness! Thanks for the opportunity : )

    My URL: myspace.com/suzanne00

  38. N says:

    Hey girl! Would LOVE to win one of these babies for me and my woman to use, we will queerify this toy with rainbow flags and gay disco music…it will be a glorious site to behold!

    agentn@gmail.com if I am the lucky winner!

  39. Wilhelmina says:

    You’re the second person I’ve heard rave about the Joque… I passed it over because it looks so awkward and unsexy, but I’m really curious to try one out now because of the melee of good points. Washable + easy to use + makes you feel hot WEARING it? All great points IMHO!

  40. Essin' Em says:

    I need a harness for Q…would love one!

  41. ravenquince says:

    “bio wang” has got to be my new favorite phrase. “Hey, you! Come over here with your bio wang and bend over. Let me show you how a woman does it.” Oh, yes, I’d love to give this a go.

    @RavenQuince

  42. Sylas says:

    Dancin’ around my studio with nothing is not as fun as with the Joque would be… help a sister out!
    demello.carpentry@hotmail.com

  43. Bad Bad Girl says:

    Oh me me!!! Pick me!!!

    you know where to find me sweetness, but in cause you need a reminder:

    badbadgirlx@gmail.com

  44. Allan says:

    I would get a harness, hopefully with it I could get my wife into pegging 😉

    Allan

  45. leatheryenta says:

    I would love to win one of these. And then I would write about it in my blog.

  46. Sarah says:

    I’m loving the image of someone doing the Risky Business dance with a giant strap-on.

    sarahbear0683@yahoo.com

  47. Michele says:

    Hi!

    It’s Michele from {Internet Sex Toy Store} (Twitter MicheleFromEF). Pick me, pick me! You know I need something new to chase Alan around with (LOL).

  48. I’ve never been pegged but I would seriously love to be. Judging from your this seems like a great harness. Thus I’ll join the crowd in screaming pick me!

    My twitter address is @namelesschaos

  49. Mina Meow says:

    After ogling the harness for months, we won the SpareParts harness in the HYCSB raffle… and i have to say, it is AWESOME to have a harness that my gf (a size 20) and I (a size 10) can share. 🙂

  50. Makani says:

    That’s awesome! I’ve been waiting to find a good harness somewhere.

  51. Ava says:

    I loved this review. It had me laugh and want the harness. Way to go! SO please pick me as I know Simon has been wanting, well, wanting what I could provide with this for awhile 😉

    Twitter: BedroomCloset

    or

    Ava @bedroom-closet.com

  52. Kathryn says:

    I saw this harness at Babeland when i was visiting Seattle, sadly I did not have the cash for it that day. I am a BBW size 26, 49″ waist 59″ hips. My guy thinks about pegging all the the time and will be very happy if I win this.

    twitter name @akinkydichotomy

  53. InspiredWarrior says:

    Sounds great. I’d love to try it.

    I’m InspiredWarrior on Twitter. Yay!

  54. K says:

    I have seen and heard so much about the spareparts harness that I don’t know if I can live without one much longer! Sign me up!
    Xoxoxxx,
    K

  55. forsakemysoul says:

    I’m excited. A chance to actually have a harness that doesn’t hurt nor aggravate me so badly when I try to put it on that I don’t want to anymore? Awesome. I’ve never heard anything about it before, but it sounds like the perfect harness.

    the_mistress_kay at gmail.com

  56. Miss Ida says:

    Pick me! Pick me!

    xoxo

    twitter: miss_ida

  57. spicylilslice says:

    Santa baby, please put one under the tree, for me! A harness that will help me to climax along with that lucky lady or gent (or lady(s) and gent(s))!!! I’m getting all hot and sweaty and stinky just fantasizing about it. And boy toy captain redbeard is passed out next to me. It’s not even 10 yet. He’s totally getting punished later (with the Joque you’re going to gift me, I hope!).

    snuggles!

    twitter:spicylilslice

  58. […] go head-to-head with me on a smutty version of Jeopardy, my lovely sex toy sista, Epiphora. We both loved the Joque, so why not spread the love to our readers with a wintery […]

  59. […] go head-to-head with me on a smutty version of Jeopardy, my lovely sex toy sista, Epiphora. We both loved the Joque, so why not spread the love to our readers with a wintery […]

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