Pssst. There’s a contest at the end. Read through! (Congrats to our winner, RavenQuince!)
Hello, my dear readers. I know it’s been a good long while since I’ve related a tale of sticking something in me or on me, so I was well overdue for a review or two.
Spareparts Harnesses are a company I’ve had the pleasure of knowing and dealing with for a few years. They are one of those special toy companies whispered about from harness users to harness users, usually prefaced with “Ohmigod you have GOT to try…”
Their “swimsuit material” harnesses can be used in the shower/bath/pool/hot tub, and are designed – get this – with the WEARER in mind, not the (90-pounds-soaking-wet / has never seen another vagina or a guy to be pegged in her LIFE) model on the front of the box. They are comfortable, intuitive, and just…well, they’re just awesome. Can you tell I like these things? The first time I tried a harness on, it was a “leather” one from one of the “big guys” of toy manufacturing. There were so many straps, buckles, cinches, and scary-looking hardware dangling from it, that by the time I squished my svelte size 20 frame into it, I’m fairly sure a casual passerby would think I had let my underwear and a parachute rig have hasty unprotected sex.
To duplicate the experience, I slipped the Joque on *without* reading the instructions at all. It honestly took all of thirty seconds, and my inner dialogue went something like, “Oh! Okay, that goes here…wow, will you look at that? Well that was easy. Velcro! I love…ooh, the leg straps are stretchy too. Wow, this is actually..it feels just like I’m only wearing underwear. I wonder if I could fit…”
And yes, folks. I did, in fact, fit the Ebon Stallion in this thing. 5.25″ in circumference and giant balls…not to mention it’s CERAMIC. I walked around the house with this obscenely large ceramic penis jutting out in front of me like a flagpole, and damned if it didn’t stay exactly where I put it. There was no…er…drooping, shall we say? The 90 degree angle held up through several renditions of the risky business dance through my living room. The reason behind this is a thick O ring made of many, many layers of the same material of the harness that stretches and conforms to whatever you’re equipping the harness with.
Even despite my best harness-wearing wiggle, my guy was immune to my pegging charms (he wanted to fix computers instead of getting buttsecks…you believe that?) and so I took revenge on his backup girlfriend, the Fleshlight. I swapped out the big boy for my trusty goodfella, slipping on a condom -before- sliding it through the O ring (which actually works very well to keep the condom in place, a good consideration for those who are sharing toys with non-fluid-bonded partners), lubed up, and went to town.
Wow. Okay, I totally see why people rock the strap on now. I mean, I’ve played around with my “other” harness (who will be languishing alone in the drawer now) and I got that “Oh, hey, cool I have a penis” thing…but it was NOTHING like wearing the Jocque. I actually climaxed with nothing going on internally, because the Joque sits the dildo of choice right where it should. There was no chafing, pinches, or anything to remind me that I was wearing a harness and a silicone dildo to disrupt my daydreams I had managed to spontenously grow a bio wang of my very own.
Why I like the Joque:
Washable: When I do manage to pull my guy away from his computers, pegging will be a cinch because I can just toss the whole harness into the wash when I’m done. That was a really nice feature to me, because my guy and I both enjoy all sorts of sex play, but are very adamant about proper cleanup when all is said and done.
Easy To Put On: I’m a total spaz. If I can get this thing on without reading instructions and without dislocating something – believe me, you can too.
It Lurves Big Girls: I got size “B”, and I’m a size 20 in pantaloons. I do not feel like I’m stretching the wearability limits…and in fact, feel like it would very comfortably fit bigger girls than I with the straps let out. It adjusts with four plastic buckles on thick (quality) elastic straps around the legs and under the butt and two similarly buckled straps over two folding panels of velcro on the generously thick waist band. A size “A” is also available for smaller wearers.
They Support NYSBC: www.SparePartsHardware.com generously donated a harness to raise funds for SWA during the calendar party raffle. Wouldn’t you like to own toys that you know support the causes YOU believe in?
Because they’re kickass, Spareparts not only gave me a Joque to review and a Joque for the NYSBC raffle, they also gave me one for YOU! That’s right, you could have a superhero harness all your own to..you know…dance around the living room with. Or whatever. Ahem.
This lovely chocolate colored Joque is a Size “A” (edited to add: Size A fits a 20-50″ waist) and ready to rock the world of a winner (and their lucky partner(s)!) I will be drawing a winner a week from now from everyone who leaves me a comment in this post. Yep, that’s it – just leave a comment! Make sure there’s an email or some way to contact you (blog link, twitter name, etc) in the comment or I can’t give you your goodies!
While it isn’t required, tweeting is an awful nice thing to do, don’t ya think? 😉 “ Hey! @ThatToyChick is giving away a Joque Spareparts Harness! http://tinyurl.com/yz7rnr5 – Please RT 🙂 ”