So there we are in the bedroom, a naked me kneeling on the bed beside an equally naked fiance. In one hand, I’m holding a penis that I have come to regard as pretty damned awesome, and in the other, inexplicably, I’m holding a miniature viking helmet made out of chocolate.
It’s bigger than I expected – the helmet that is. The penis is big as well, but I’m used to that after six years. The penis I am currently grasping takes Magnum XXL condoms but the helmet is a little too big for a snug fit, sitting on his penis at a skewed angle like a kid wearing an oversized hat.
“So you just….eat it? I mean, what if you go into a chocolate frenzy and accidentally bite my dick?” He says, as if I am incapable of restraining myself around chocolate. Deliciously thick Belgian chocolate. Bittersweet and heady as a liqueur. Inches from my lips. I mean, not that I’m transfixed by the amazing confectionery pheromones this thing is swinging recklessly past my nostrils or anything. I’m cool. Ahem.
I nibble off the tip of one of the horns with a giggle, quickly discovering that if I nip off the other I can blow through the horn and send air rushing past the head. It’s like I’m playing a chocolate penis kazoo and pretty soon we’re both laughing hysterically. Pretty soon I get down to business and discover with delight that the space between the horns has become just the tiniest bit melty from his body heat, and now each lick coats my tongue with amazingly good chocolate as well as a little bit of his precum. I didn’t anticipate anything but a little chocolate in bed and a good laugh, but things are changing rapidly as I discover how incredibly fucking sexy melting Belgian chocolate is on top of a hard cock in the mouth.
Chunks predictably break off, and I retrieve them from his thighs and stomach and feed them to him as I take my time cleaning up what’s melted onto him with my tongue. For what started as something ridiculous, this has turned pretty damn hot, and in a hurry too. Things came to a *ahem* head, and I’m happy to say that there was no trace of chocolate or (insert cream pun here) after I was finished.
I have a top hat here that I’m anxious to try out soon, as the shape seems like it would be even more conducive to melting along the top and sides with a little coaxing from my tongue. Overall, I can honestly say I’m impressed! I had mentally relegated this to the thousands of edible “bedroom gags” on the market, but it’s in a league of it’s own and well worth trying out.
The hats are available right now in a viking style and a cowboy hat style for $9.95 each, or in a mix-and-match 5 pack for $39.95.