Weird Sex Toys O’ The Week # 4 – “Not a Good Idea” Edition

This week’s edition of W.S.T.O.T.W. is dedicated to poorly designed or executed concepts that have a good potential for users needing therapy of both the physical and mental variety.

Bein in touch wif nature – ur doin it wrong.

Weird things in small packages..

What could possibly go wrong?

It actually says “Do not insert glowstick directly into orfice”. Wow.

(I was going to link the Baby Jesus Butt Plug from Divine Interventions, but it seemed a bit perverse of the holiday spirit, even despite the blasphemous giggles it never fails to produce for moi)

First up – two offerings from a company well-known for controversial toys. A WTF combo platter in the form of anatomically correct horse, WHALE (yes, whale), and dog dildos, as well as an incomprehensible mess of genitalia worthy of a horror movie aftermath, affectionately called the Concubine masturbator. While I’m sure there are folks out there that enjoy these, and I don’t mean to rain on their sexy parade here, wow. Just…WOW.

Secondly – A little (not really) toy that I worked on this week and immediately decided would be making the WSTOTW cut. Doc Johnson’s Titanmen Rough Riderz toys are medium to large butt plugs mounted on….an inflatable ball. Because anal sex toys and circus antics seem like a great combination, I suppose. I can’t even remotely consider this safe, even for seasoned anal players. You trip, you slip, you go sideways (all very real possibilities, as you should be very well lubed for large toys, and lube gets everywhere) and all of a sudden it’s time for a trip to the Emergency Room and concocting an unbelievable story about sitting on a bottle en route.

And lastly, as much as it pains me to enter a silicone toy into the ranks of WSTOTW on the basis of construction design, Ophoria’s Glo Dildos make the cut. I know for a fact glow in the dark silicone exists, because Whipspider Creations uses it most attractively in several of their toys. So why on -earth- would you conceive of an overly complicated system of a hollow inner canal in a translucent dildo, a plug, and children’s party favor lightstick bracelet parts? The dildo itself doesn’t glow at all! Add that to the fact that they won’t come out and say it can be boiled anywhere on the packaging or website (one of the best properties of silicone toys, and why a lot of people buy them) and keep calling it “Pure Japanese Silicone” – whatever that means – and you have our last WSTOTW entry.

Keep the weird toy suggestions coming, guys!

-TTC

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