Pardon me while I finish hyperventilating into a paper bag.
Anyone who knows me well, knows that I am something of a crazed ferret when it comes to new toys, and anything thusly related. New concepts are my addiction, doubly so in the sex toy industry universe. I scour the trade mags, keep one ear to the ground, and gab with anybody who will stand still long enough about the latest and greatest to hit the scene.
Vixen Creations has ever so kindly allowed me to tap directly in to one of the neatest silicone manufacturers out there. They send me amazing little boxes o’ new stuff, stuff that hasn’t hit the market yet, that I mount on my desk with all the pride of a cheetah that just bagged a gazelle.
‘cept I never have to leave my desk, the gazelle is a rather disinterested UPS man, and I’m wearing sweatpants no cheetah would be caught dead in.
ANYhoo. The latest box of joy landed on my doorstep this afternoon, and I’m starting to get a pavlovian vagina-twinging response to Vixen’s return address on package labels. Mmm. I carefully cut open the box (Silicone has no natural enemies in the wild, save for other silicone and sharp knives) and immediately pulled out a hefty fistful of shimmering teal and deep navy squishy goodness. I puzzled for a second, then the lightbulb went off…this was THE concept toy I had been so thoughtfully informed of awhile back. The JESTER!
The basic gist of it? Hitachi = good. Double Dildos = awesome. Silicone = OMGyes. Put them together and your TTC here is trying not to physically ricochet off the walls with joy. I held it up, hummed the triforce theme from zelda, and was rewarded with a rather annoyed and quizzical look from my cats. The rabbit, to her credit, continued to eat hay and avoided eye contact with the increasingly erratic tall-thing-that-brings-lettuce.
The Jester is 11 1/2″ long, unbent, and about 4″ tall. The shorter dildo is 4 1/2″ long when bent straight, 4 1/2″ in circumference at the widest insertable point, and is pleasantly textured into three sections. The longer dildo is, I believe, based on the Raquel model (a favorite, incidentally, of Ms. Essin Em’), and is 6″ long when bent straight, 5 1/4″ in circumference at the widest insertable point, and has a nice bulbous head.
The center takes a hint from the super-sexy Off With Your Head cap, incorporating three pronounced ridges for all sorts of fun applications. The main idea, if I’m guessing right, is to turn the hitachi head side down, slide on the cap (with a little water-based lube around the inside edges for easy on and off!) and insert one or both stems in willing partner(s). Vixen Creations has even thoughtfully shaped in a protruding nubs on the base at each side for clitoral stimulation during penetration!
Tipping the scales at just over a pound of luscious, boilable, body-friendly silicone, this super sweet hitachi cap resembles it’s namesake, and is just full of shimmery beauty. I love it. A lot. Like, a whole lot.
-TTC
