When I was fortunate enough to win a contest held by the fine folks of Astroglide on twitter, they sent me a happy lil care package with some fun lubes to try out. Any toychick worth her sexy salt knows that there are almost no sex toys or acts that aren’t improved by lube, so it made getting down to business with the slippery stuff easier than scheduling a timeslot for G-spotting, or cock ring play, etc.
I am almost always trying to de-pants my mate, with the very understandable justification that he looks awesome without pants on. Astroglide X in hand, I promptly dragged him into the bedroom to manual manual minstrations in the name of science. He once again lost the valiant struggle to retain his pants-wearing preference.
The first thing I noticed was that the lube was body temperature almost immediately. Usually, I dab a little in my palm and swirl it around so I’m not grabbing his junk whilst slathered up with girl-squeak-inducingly cold liquid. But this? It almost came out of the bottle warm. I was also expecting a thick liquid – sort of the consistency of karo syrup – as this had been my previous experience with other silicone lubricants. Not so with Astroglide X! My first impression was how very like oil it was, both in the “thin” feel and spread. It coated lightly with very little assistance, but could be runny if you didn’t get it rubbed in right away. I really felt like I was using massage oil to rub him down, so Astroglide X would be awesome for people who love oil, but have to stay away from naughty bits for condom safety (oil will break down latex, making condoms ineffective).
The lubricant stayed warm throughout the time I used it, though it is to be noted I found myself applying it more frequently than other silicone lubricants. I’m not used to “refreshing” silicone lube while I’m using it, but it really only took a few drops to do so. I imagine it would be great for couple sex and trying it with toys, more of a slick-and-thrust sort of play, but we decided we preferred our regular water-based for handjob use. It’s not to say the Astroglide X won’t be a nearby accessory – we plan on trying it out for other play in the near future. The guy also reports that it isn’t insanely hard to clean off his naughty bits, like other silicone lubes we’ve tried. (they hold up great to shower sex, but can be a pain in the ass to wash off)
Want to buy Astroglide X? You can purchase it here for $13.99.
Update 6/27/09: WOW. I mean…wow. With this email response (MissKissThis has affirmed it is genuine and offered to forward it to yours truly) DW just managed to cram their other foot in their mouth. Right now, to use an easily visualized parlance, they are potentially like a marketing snake that has unhinged their jaw to make room for all the feet in it.
Timeline:
Oh, Don Wands…
I love you guys – your glass is great, and I’m even willing to overlook the fact every single one of your plush glass dil bags has uber shitty draw strings and smells like it was used to mop up the floor of a head shop*. Moreover, your glass is AFFORDABLE, which is a big plus.
However, all my DW luv just made reading this harder to bear. Courtesy of Epiphora of “Hey Epiphora” sextoyblogfame: Girl tries vibe, girl dislikes vibe. Girl writes about dislike of said vibe. Vibe makers then post a comment of the variety that can only be described as facepalm marketing.
*Don Wands is a part of Glow Industries, which sell incense, posters, “tobacco” pipes, and other stoner necessities. These share a warehouse, which leads to the plush glass dildo bags always smelling distractingly like cheap patchouli.
A naked lady or nude gentleman can be an enticing and lovely sight to behold. Narrow the viewpoint on certain closeups, however, and what looked great in panorama begins to look like an H.P. Lovecraft brainchild when truncated.
1.) Brea’s Pocket Ass – it takes a moment to realize wtf is going on here, but apparently Brea has reached behind her, stuck an index finger in her backdoor, and is holding it open for the user. However, minus the cheeks and the rest of her hand for orientation, this ends up looking distractingly disturbing. Get your fill of fingerbutt for under $20! *
2.) This is supposed to emulate fucking both Lindsey and Lacey Love, the infamous twins of porn, at the same time. Rather than finding it stimulating, my brain wanders to considering exactly what sort of contortions the rest of their bodies have to twist through to get their naughty bits this close together. I’m not one to knock legal sex practices (only illegal ones if you count the backwards states that throw the book at sodomy), mind you, but what do you do with this, exactly? Switch back and forth? Share it with a gymnastically-inclined friend?
3.) Would you like that WTF in a portable size? Well, here ya go! This one is Carmen and Austyn, if they had been joined at the pelvis, and shrunk to doll-like proportions. Only $39.95 and you too can tote this sleeve o’ weird wherever you go. *
4.) Ah, the titty blowjob – favorite of many. The placement and orientation of the various parts in this toy, however, seems to lend itself to the imagery of poking a giant unwelcome wang into a party of friendly underage pygmies doing body shots off one another. The mouth doesn’t look like it belongs to those breasts, and everything’s so crazy small it borders on sex with barbies.
*If you’re really looking to buy these things, use code 25offone at checkout and you’ll get a discount.
