Desk Full of Dildos

Jackie Martinez (#11467) by mark sebastian used under a Creative Commons License

Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #15? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #17? Submit it here before Sunday February 22nd at 11:59pm PST. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

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On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick

• Tantus Beginner Ball Gag by Sleeping Dreamer

While I’ve never been heavily into BDSM, this little gag has provided me with a big opportunity (and not just a photo opportunity for you fine folks!) but the opportunity to explore outside of my comfort zone.

Includes some pretty pictures of the gag itself and the gag in action!

Madame Editrix

Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

Vibrators

• Japanese ‘G’ Spot Velvet Touch Squirmy by Sleeping Dreamer
• I-Vibrator Egg by Sarah
• Paris Duckie by Adriana
• Petite Pink Ribbon by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• Elastomer Rabbit Habit by Ansley Agnello
• Berman Center Juliet by Thursday’s Child
• Tease and Please by Bad Bad Girl
• Vibrating Glass Cobalt Nubby by Miss KissThis
• Bnaughty by Kyle
• Tantus Delta by Bad Bad Girl
• Aphrodite by Catalina Loves
• Natural Contours Ideal Massager by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival

Dildos

• Blueberry Twist Juicer Glass Dildo by Sleeping Dreamer
• Energie by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• Indigo Intruder by Ansley Agnello
• Chocolate Chip Glass Dildo by Jezebelle
• Curve by Carnivalesq
• Beaded Glass Dildo by That Toy Chick

Lube/Massage Oil/Bath Stuff

• Toy Fluid by Ansley Agnello
• WET Naturals by Sommer Marsden
• ID Jucy Lube 10 Pack by Erin Leone
• Afterglow Candle

BDSM/Fetish

• Bondage Tape by Marla Singer
• Black Leather Whip by Erin Leone
• Strict Leather Bullhide Flogger by Bad Bad Girl
• Nipple Suckers by Domina Doll

Adult Books

• Sex, Magick and Spirit: Enlightenment through Ecstasy by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival

Adult Movies/Porn

• Corsetry La Femme Part 1 by The Porn Librarian
• Lesbian Life – Real Sex San Francisco (Scene 3) by J.D. Bauchery
• Domination Nakite by FrzKey
• Nina Hartley’s Guide to Sensual Submission #1: How to Submit to a Man by Curvaceous Dee

Storage

• Tunti Illuminated Boudoir Toybox by Essin’ Em

Miscellaneous

• Smartballs by Erin Leone
• Kama Sutra Intensifying Gel – Cooling by Jezebelle
• Shunga Secret Garden Cream by Epiphora

One of the things I noticed when I first got into the industry was that there were a lot of awesome companies that didn’t get the exposure they deserved. A company shouldn’t be punished for devoting more time to the product than the website, so I’d like to even the balance a bit. I’ve had the pleasure of working personally with some of the companies below, in one way or another.

I was probably the last sexbloggish person to get into the whole “glass” thing, having only procured my first toy last year. I like my stuff squishy, so how could I possibly like something so unyielding? Oh, I did. Frequently. There’s nothing quite like the absolutely frictionless feel of glass, how effortlessly it pops in and out and how little lube one needs to enjoy it.

Porous materials, like jelly, actually absorb some of the things that make lube…lubey…and leave you with a sticky mess afterward – all the NON water components of water based lubricants. The body will also do this, of course, but not as quickly as some of the more porous toys. Why do I mention this? Because imagine what a nice, solid, non-porous toy does to stretch the usefulness of your lube in a given sexy session. It’s the (magnified) difference between pouring lube on a glass coffee table vs a kitchen sponge.

Where my first dildo was essentially a skinny wand with a small bulb at the end (like so), this glass dildo offers a lot more girth and texture to enjoy. The fat bulb on the end makes handling it pretty easy, and the four knobs are placed perfectly for curling the fingers between, enabling the user to rub the “twisty” end against anywhere they choose.  If the large ball is held in the palm, the twisty end and first ball combine with the toy’s subtle curve to make the perfect shallow thrusting toy to arouse the sensitive vaginal entrance.

The large ball end is not so huge as to make this glass dildo unmanageable when flipped around, either.  I wouldn’t recommend this as an anal toy, however, even despite the seemingly made-for-it graduated bulges…there is no flanged base and the potential for an “oh whoops”, especially all lubed up, is high.  Also worth noting is that my toy’s swirls are separated a bit from each other, giving a little “valley” between each swirl…the picture on Adam and Eve’s site makes it seem like they are closer together. These dildos are not, to the best of my knowledge, machine-made, so each is bound to vary a bit.

The pale purple color is very nice, too. Glass toys definitely benefit from a nice pastel shade to show off their natural material.  The red velvet bag will protect from light scratches and the casual snooper, but the lack of padding won’t secure it from more serious mishandling (like dropping it on concrete or something) nor will the drawstring closure deter persistent bedroom investigators.

Price wise, there’s just no arguing it’s awesome – $24.95! It’s a really cheap glass dildo that’s high on quality, which makes for a great combo.  It’s an Adam and Eve exclusive, too, so they’re the only place you’ll find this lovely piece of purple pleasure.  The Cyberglass (essentially pyrex glass) material can be lightly heated or cooled, but use common sense and don’t overdo it..if the temp can’t be comfortably held against the skin, it’s too much for both you and the toy! If you’re looking for a decent cheap lube, I tried mine out with Adam and Eve’s Pure Essentials Water Based Lubricant.

-TTC

So, it’s been two years, give or take. Two years since I crash landed in the industry, broadly beaming like someone who’s fallen through the ground into a big ol’ pile of treasure. Every day I’m thankful to work around stuff that’s so fun and eminently interesting.

However, I’ve realized lately that working with this sort of thing – copy writing for sex toys and their smutty kin, to be exact – carries with it certain social restrictions that previously wouldn’t have occured to yours truly. Mind you, I catapulted straight from the mundane (vanilla? muggle?) world of temping at a supplemental insurance cube farm straight into figuring out a dizzying array of new ways to say “stick this in your vagina and buy lube while you’re at it”.

Here are some tips for surviving the jump from work to NSFW.

1.) A cover story for the “norms”.

Okay, this is one I sort of expected, going into it. Inevitably, there’s gonna be someone – relative, straight laced friend, your local preacher/rabbi/kid’s teacher – who isn’t going to instantly respond with “omigod SWEET” when you explain what exactly it is that pulls in the paychecks. My fiance’s grandmother, for example, fully believes I monitor USB ports for a living. My own grandmother is under the impression I sell women’s clothing for a living. Now, I DO look at the usb port when I plug in my mouse to start working (writing sex toy copy), and I DO sell women’s clothing (that would get one arrested under exposure laws almost immediately). It’s truth-by-omission, really. For those peers that are old enough to know that USB ports are fairly self-reliant, and whose wives (or selves) may be interested in women’s clothes, I throw out some technical jargon about SEO and web search spiders without being item-specific. If you have the misfortune of hanging out with devout christian techwriting couples, you have two options: feign contagious disease frequently to ward off social interaction, or get new friends. Seriously, how’d you even get into this line of work?

2.) The “Starbucks Office” model does NOT work as well for you.

The office as a concept is a pain in the ass…there are co-workers that piss you off, idiot bosses constantly interrupting your train of thought (or that game of flash tetris you found on a site the work filters neglected to block), not to mention getting up early and getting dressed in uncomfortable clothing.

However, this is a problem I’ve recently discovered. While working from home is awesome, you start to get a sallow complexion and eyes like Steve Busemi from the constant monitor-staring. Some human interaction is necessary to not go bonkers, and inviting strangers into your house, especially when working in this industry, is a recipe for either disaster or social awkwardness at the least. So, do like the other work-from-homers do, right? Have laptop, will travel?

You know how you go to Starbucks, and all you ever seem to see are disinterested people your age and up, partitioned off into groups and only aware of each other? Try opening a laptop and working on a description of a realistic vagina masturbator. Every priest, rabbi, teen mentor, and toddler in a five mile radius will suddenly get a demanding craving for an unpronouncable five dollar drink and will, for some reason, find it absolutely fascinating to sit/look/walk in your direction.

As soon as you get in, set yourself up in a corner near an outlet so you don’t have to move if you need to recharge. Face your screen towards the wall and into an unoccupied corner if possible, but be aware you’ll have to be alert enough to close your laptop or pull up a tab of lolcats if a kid starts waddling in your direction. If you’re going to be working at Starbucks in particular often, spring for a Starbucks Gold membership…it’s $25 a year, which sucks, but you’ll get 2 hours of free wifi every day. At $4 per 2 hour block, it will pay for itself if you’re going there several times a week. Buy the card in the store itself to save yourself the “customization fee” on the website. You also get 10% off your purchases, which adds up if you grab a java each time you settle in to work.

3.) Bringing work home can be problematic.

I’m without children (for the time being), so I don’t have to worry about curious little eyes seeking out the most inappropriate thing in any given room to shove into a recently-teething mouth. Hilarious as it may be, the therapy bills later on will not be, nor will the humorless call from child welfare services RE: your twitpic account.

Try to centralize any paperwork or adult paraphernalia that you have on your desk, and keep a towel or sheet handy on the back of your desk chair for quick coverups if the landlord or UPS shows up unexpectedly. And take batteries out of ANYthing, as murphy’s law dictates it must turn itself on when someone unpornish is in the house and the television is turned off.

4.) Have fun.

Celebrate the fact you work with a pretty awesome group of people, and that a lot of the industry (not all, mind you) isn’t as bad as people make it out to be. Make an effort to be social, make yourself a memorable “handle” (name), and join up on social sites like fetlife and find other adult industry folks on twitter.

Hope this helps, and feel free to write me if you have any questions or other survival tips.

-TTC

For what it’s worth, I feel all of you are part of the sex blogger “community”, always have! I think there is room for all types of sex blogs, sexy twitter IDs, and sexy *people* on the ubiquitous interwebz.

I’m fond of AAG’s blog, and of she herself, but I wouldn’t think I could interpret her words or what she was trying to say…I think really she’s the only gal who is capable of that. All blogs start with an idea that we attach words and phrases to, and hopefully end up with a picture to convey that thought clearly to others. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t, and sometimes one person sees an inkblot where someone else sees two people or a vase.

What I CAN say is that I feel, especially in the last six months, that major sex toys sites (insert name of your choice here) have been hitching their sleighs to our proverbial verbal momentum and enjoying a nice marketing ride from the things we choose to say/link to about both the sites themselves and their products. While I find no fault with the idea as a whole – hey, this is a capitalist society, right? – I would advise discretion in which companies you ally with, especially to the new guys and gals joining us on the blogosphere every day.

We are a group of incredibly talented people holding megaphones, capable of taking a small sound and amplifying it. What’s to be avoided is losing that “incredibly talented people holding” part of the last sentence. We are a powerful community of diverse and noteworthy writers, but it is very easy to be seen as simply the sum of our hits to a marketer. I’ve been behind the scenes, seeing this happen, and I speak from experience. It might not be the original or even the conscious intention, of course, but it does happen.

Regardless of how the rest of her post is taken, AAG is right in mentioning that perhaps folks should start making a little more noise about causes that affect things you are passionate about. This is a scenario I envision often – almost all of my sex writer buddies know by now that phthalates, even if they don’t directly cause permanent issue, are still probably not the best idea. The next thought voiced, even in my own head, is almost inevitably “but you can use a condom on it!”. But what about a 19 year old suzy somebody out in nowheresville, USA, who is buying her very first sex toy ever – she doesn’t read any of our blogs, doesn’t know the information is out there, and the site, which chooses to keep selling jelly toys, doesn’t even mention phthalates or using condoms to make a toy safer. As several of you have mentioned, you choose not to review toys of unsafe design or materials, and that’s a great step! But when Suzy Somebody goes to buy that toy, she sees there aren’t any reviews, shrugs, and buys it anyway because it’s her favorite color. I’m not suggesting we all rush to jot off emails to our respective places and demand they stop carrying unsafe toys/supplements/creams. In reality, even en masse, it likely won’t change everything. I’m saying that maybe we should stop to consider, as AAG has brought up, who we’re “working” for, and if they’re treating others as they’d like to be treated. Instead of angry emails, lobby to have informative articles placed -prominently- on sites that don’t have them, stating the truth about materials/supplements/creams. These are actually a GOOD marketing move for most sites, as blocks of useful non-spammy text actually help boost search engine placement.

Regardless of any action taken (or not) by other guys and gals in the sex writing community, please know that I will continue to read and enjoy – both stories AND reviews. Reading sex blogs is something I look forward to, because let’s face it, erotica is pretty damn awesome and so are sex toys! I also like reading about how you overcome personal problems, and that even the most sexually charged minx sometimes has issues with hubby’s libido, work hours, or bacterial vaginosis…it reminds me that even the sexiest blogstar is still human, like me.

Rather self-explanatory, there’s a whole subculture in the adult toy world cashing in on titillating tootsies. Personally, I am completely on the other end of the spectrum as far as liking feet goes, but to each their own!

Update, July 2009 – You foot fetishists are a dedicated bunch! Despite this post being written in -February-, I’m still getting a bajillion hits a day searching for “Serenity’s Little Piggies” or “Sifeet Pussy Foot”. Never one to ignore the needs of fans, I’d like to offer an additional peek at a NEW foot toy, a mold made from Adult Film Star Justine Joli. I’ve added the picture to the gallery below!

And so I present (with misgivings): Serenity’s Little Piggies, Kalani’s Foot Masturbator, Jesse’s Senso Foot Masturbator, and the fairly well-known Sifeet Pussyfoot.

I have no problem with foot fetishists per se; but the disembodied vaginas always freaked me out enough…these just..border on CSI props.

-TTC

Hey Adult Toy Manufacturers;

AAG has recently made note that she’s been approached by people looking to have her write interesting things about their new product without actually sending one.

If you want someone to ‘report’ on the toy, rather than ‘review’ the toy, I am the person you’d be looking for. I like, nay, love new sex toys and am pre-programmed with enthusiasm for the industry because I work in it.This admonishment goes doubly if you have a toy that can be considered ‘unusual’ or ‘weird’ – you should see the amount of traffic I get on the term “weird sex toy”.

If you want someone to mention, mentally poke at, and explain your newest offering at the altar of smut, please feel free to contact me. Want to email? Attach my pseudonym (thattoychick) to @gmail.com and it’ll reach me.

Your devoted wordsmith for all things sexy;

-TTC